By Jack Petocz
“Faggot.” “You’re an abomination to god.” “Cocksucker.” “Keep lying to yourself.” Muffled slurs ring out amidst the chaos. I move towards the audio system with trembling hands to ensure our powerful voices aren’t muzzled by the bigots armed with military-grade weapons, body armor, megaphones and war flags.
Then, directing parents and community members to create a de-facto boundary for students speaking at the rally I organized in defense of student access to library books on Nov. 16 outside the Government Services Building, I walk to the podium and begin the first speech.
That evening a range of conflicting emotions like nothing I had experienced before coursed through me. Some caused intense euphoria: feelings of pride, passion, and inspiration from my peers who joined me in defense of free access to books. But Later that night when I drove home I also felt fear, disappointment, anguish, and grief. I had to circle my street three times without headlights to ensure my family and I were safe. How had it come to this in Flagler County, that people like me should be in fear for their safety?
Then I made a decision. I wasn’t going to be intimated. I will continue to fight. They would be victorious otherwise.
But there’s no mystery why it had come to this. Book bans aren’t just book bans. Maybe they’re not intended that way, but they have the same effect: They’re attempts to erase people like me, to scare us back into invisibility and irrelevance. We will be neither.
Angered by a discrimination-shaded attempt by School Board member Jill Woolbright to censor All Boys Aren’t Blue, Stamped, Speak, and The Hate U Give, a few of my classmates and I prepared flyers for a student-led protest outside the board meeting that week. Under the organization I founded, “Recall FCSB,” we released the call for action and were astonished by the results. Students of all backgrounds and creeds, particularly those within the LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC communities, were ready to fight for the four titles. These all cover essential topics such as growing up queer and person of color (POC), police brutality, sexual assault, and racial inequities.
As a gay student, I began to read All Boys Aren’t Blue, hearing of the challenge from Woolbright, and became ever more empowered to fight for George Johnson’s memoir. Although I cannot speak to the perspective of a POC, I did identify with the struggles George faced throughout adolescence with their sexuality. Notably, the trauma and anguish of that loaded question hurled at you since you were a young child: “Are you gay?”
In addition to these stories, Johnson included some personal anecdotes about first sexual encounters and a recounting of sexual assault, an underrepresented story in a stew of unquestioned heterosexual relations within our school. Attacking All Boys and claiming it is “pornography” invalidates an award-winning author’s life story under the deceptive guise of “protecting students.” You’re not protecting anyone; you are trying to suppress differing ideas and experiences that make you uncomfortable. It projects homophobia, not protection.
The evening of the 16th, the students addressed the Flagler County School Board despite enduring the vilest verbal attacks and physical threats moments earlier. Escorted by police through a gauntlet of screaming adults, we marched into the chamber, waiting hours for a chance to speak our minds. Sitting there, clenching the hands of some of my closest friends, I had a renewed sense of devotion to this effort.
Watching the behavior of the elected members closely, I realized I needed to continue organizing to enact change within our local community. These members are advocating for the interest of hateful adults, not that of children. Smirking, whispering amongst themselves, disrespectfully shaking their head, Janet McDonald and at times Jill Woolbright made it clear they had no regard for student voices. They did not seek to denounce the vileness of the individuals outside. These board members nodded in agreement as intolerant individuals were allowed to spew horrid threats, including one suggesting I should be “tarred and feathered” for distributing a book with queer representation. For the remaining two hours of the five-hour meeting, I was intensely stared down by Janet McDonald, who should have been focusing on the board’s work.
In the chair on the left hand side, Superintendent Cathy Mittlestadt remained rather quiet throughout the entirety of the meeting and finally delivered limited and non-partisan comments. I remember being hurt that she did not address the scene outside, as had Colleen Conklin and Cheryl Massaro.
Today, her stance took on a different dimension. Although the district committee reviewing these challenged books recommended that the four titles remain on shelves, including All Boys–pending some added parameters for that one–she decided to ban All Boys, citing a personal decision upon reading the content and consultation with her peers.
While I am thankful the three other titles remain, I am disgusted with the decision to remove this critical title. I question whether Mittelstadt heard the important student voices who rallied for this book to stay, or whether she caved to the ever-vocal bigots, similar to the decision on the removal of the word “equity” from the district’s strategic plan. Have backbone: the people seeking this ban are the same who incited a violent mob against your own students.
The student body is disappointed in you and will continue to fight for change. I am penning this essay to implore Superintendent Mittlestadt to not only reconsider this decision, but also denounce the actions outside the GSB on November 16th. Instead of conversing with your peers, look at the students who are directly being affected, in addition to the authors and others who identify as LGBTQIA+ or within the BIPOC community.
By the flood of text messages I received this morning both in my personal and organization accounts, it is evident there are others out there like me who wish to reverse this decision and rally for the return of this book to school libraries.
In the meantime, we’ll flood your emails, keep showing up to board meetings, spread the books throughout our schools and advocate online for the removal of board members who show no interest in what we stand for. Listen to the committee, and do better, Cathy.
Jack Petocz is a junior at Flagler Palm Coast High School who plans on majoring in political science, with a minor in law, in college.
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Laura Shaver says
As my son once told me “being gay is not a choice” “no one would chose this way to live”.
My husband thought our youngest was “gay”. He is artistic, baby sat for extra money and loved to cook. Our “gay” son worked like a demon. Mowed lawns, helped the older people in the neighborhood with the heavy lifting they could no longer do, worked on cars.
I have many “gay” friends, male and female. I respect them for their courage to live their life.
We need the books, are we living 1984, burn what you don’t understand, defile people you know nothing about?
Onward says
Jack, you have more courage then the school board and superintendent combined. I am so disappointed in the board member I used to work with, and God forgive me, that I voted for, and in a superintendent that I thought would be more open minded. I’m disappointed in a school board chair who allows dangerous far right hate groups to disrupt school board meetings. I’m very proud of you and your peers that faced down hate groups. Continue the fight! I know many adults who embrace you and will fight with you and your peers.
JPK says
Jack Petocz eloquently and correctly called out Superintendent Cathy Mittlestadt for not defending the students from the vile “adults”, both in the room and on the Board (Janet McDonald and Jill Woolbright), and for capitulating to the book burners.
What do you have to say for yourself Superintendent?
Concerned for our children says
Jack,
I am so impressed by your activism, organizing skills, and eloquence. There are many adults in this county and country who should look to you as a model! Thank you for sharing what has been going on in Flagler County and the School District. My hope is the Superintendent and School Board will open their ears and hearts and reconsider their poor choice!
Ou812 says
It’s not about making you invisible! It’s about introducing pornography (no matter how you perceive it to be it’s still pornography) to children. Sexual identity is a private issue to the individual and not to be made a mainstream fad in school. Especially when it comes to teens who are vulnerable to explore anything just to fit in. Pornography heterosexual homosexual or anything in between has no place at school.
Pierre Tristam says
“I remember the condom was blue and flavored like cotton candy. I put some lube on and got him up on his knees, and I began to slide into him from behind. I tried not to force it because I imagined that it would be painful; I didn’t want this moment to be painful. So I eased in, slowly, until I heard him moan. As we moved, I could tell he was excited—I was, too, but the pride in me told me not to show it. I felt like I was in control and proud of myself for getting it right on the first try—all the while still being nervous. I wanted to stay dominant in that moment. We went at it for about fifteen minutes before I started to get that feeling. Weakness in the legs, numbness in the waist. I finally came and let out a loud moan—to the point where he asked me to quiet down for the neighbors. I pulled out of him and kissed him while he masturbated. Then, he also came.”
That quote is from All Boys Aren’t Blue. If anyone thinks this IKEA-like manual on sex is in any way pornographic, then we might as well call the phone book epic poetry and compare Trump’s tweets to Thucydides. For all I know these commenters already do.
Timothy Patrick Welch says
Encouraging children to engage sexual activity should not be condoned. Public school is not the place to expose children to unnatural acts that some find offensive.
Pierre Tristam says
Oh my. The synapses here need better connections. A memoir about growing up gay and Black is not “encouraging children [to] engage in sexual activity” anymore than a history of the Vietnam war encourages Americans to engage in raping, pillaging and bombing civilians (not that they need encouragement). The history might help them avoid repeating mistakes (fat chance), just as the memoir might help adolescents navigate the shoals of sexuality in a country that rapes, pillages and bombs anything sexually unorthodox. Viz., your reference to gay sex as “unnatural acts” or offensive.
Nancy Skadden says
I am so proud to read what you have written, Jack. I applaud your ability to know who you are and to stand up for all students and members of our community, and for literature. I have not read any of the books in question. But I will. Thank you.
By the way, I’m 76 years old and somewhat confused by all the sexual identities I read and hear about. But I will support you in any way I can. You deserve support, not condemnation, not slurs nor threats. I’m proud that there is a young man willing to stand up to authority when it has made mistakes.
Carry on, Jack. You will go far!
Kat says
Nancy, you said it so well that I’ll just say that my sentiments echo yours. Jack, keep organizing and we will keep showing up to support you.
John says
Typical angry homosexual, thinks everything always about them and should be constantly told they are special. There’s so much sick porn all over the internet to be exposed to, why is that not enough for you
Luci says
Excellent way to address a CHILD.
Nunyabiznez says
If someone is going to enter a heated debate, they have no business being protected or expecting special protections under the shield of “CHILD”. They forfeit that particular fight the moment they spoke. BTW I said they exact same thing about Trump’s kid when he took heavy criticism/ridicule for social media comments concerning his father’s policies, behavior, etc.
concerned parent says
Very wise words written by a very wise young man. You will go far in your future endeavors young man. I agree with this essay and these powerful words 100%. Thank you for standing up to these nasty adults.
Joan says
I applaud your efforts and bravery to stand up against efforts by others to control, silence, intimidate and threaten you and all students and parents who think differently than they do. Your thoughtful and clear message needs to be heard and respected. There is no question we are dealing with people on the school board and in the community who do not have the best interest of students in mind despite their protestations otherwise. At best, they really don’t understand. Please do not give up. You are supported by many who are not screaming in meetings and parking lots. You are showing remarkable leadership. I pray those who criticize can one day show the grace and intelligence you do. I pray they learn from you.
Deborah Coffey says
I’m disappointed, too, Jack. But, I want you to know there are many more of us out here that accept you and respect you just the way you are. We salute your passion, your bravery and your leadership. Frankly, I have no idea how to change the hearts of bigots, but we will work to ensure that your rights are protected and that the bigoted actions of some elected officials and their cronies will not succeed. We’ll work hard to get out the vote, too. Ms. Woolbright MUST be replaced. Thank you for writing…and, really good writing at that! (A retired teacher)
bob says
This young man would make a better school board member than any there today.
Peaches McGee says
This is a sad, but repeated time in our country when adults act like obscene bigots towards something that has no bearing in their own lives.
Jack, always stand up for what you believe in, always.
Silent majority says
People are sick of the 43 genders nonsense. Reality as become a comedy skit. If these books are in the adult section then it is wrong to remove them. They obviously belong in fiction. I honestly don’t want this goofy shit being pushed on my children. Most rational people think it is complete garbage and we need to quit catering to a vocal minority. Read the dsm about gender dismorphia. Allowing grown adults to push this nonsense is just further degradation of society. Most agree outside of the echo chamber. That being said…who really believes teenagers really give a shit what books are in a library. Most have never stepped in one and barely read books. To busy in the social media hive fsking it up ith photo filters and pseudo gender garbage. Homeschool or send your kids to a proper private school to prevent this sexual indoctrination. It’s disgusting and pedophilic.
Luci says
Not sure what your point about the DSM is. Since 1980 it has stated: “Gender dysphoria: A concept designated in the DSM-5 as clinically significant distress or impairment related to a strong desire to be of another gender, which may include desire to change primary and/or secondary sex characteristics.”
Mel says
You could just have a more active role in your own child’s reading habits… You also have some massive misconceptions of libraries and young people. I hope you can stop being angry long enough to do what you claim they don’t do and read.
M says
The American Psychological Association (you know, where the DSM comes from) supports gender affirming care, right? That means, they recommend recognizing people as their gender regardless of their gender assignment at birth. So…
Robin says
Thank you Jack for speaking up and out about the attempted book bans! Our book club is reading George Johnson’s memoir. It is a thoughtful perspective and the tender advice he gives to young people’s coming of age and grappling with the social (and political) constraints from their community is profound.
Keep speaking and writing. Our world sorely needs this.
Heathen lady says
Right ON! 👍
Jersey Joe says
Don’t try and force your perverted views on us and we won’t have the need to voice our opinion of disagreement with your choices.
marlee says
Jack
Thank you for writing this.
You are brave and an inspiration.
I could never have had your courage when I was your age.
You have a lot of support.
C’mon w says
I read the boxcar children in school. Good book and age appropriate. Man I miss the 80’d
Over_it says
My children, ages 4-9 are reading The Boxcar Children now with their grandparents. They are enjoying it. However, I’d be worried if it was their selection in High School…I sincerely hope my children seek far more advanced literature when they are in HS and beyond. If The Boxcar Children was the chosen book for 15-18 year olds in the 80’s then that explains a lot.
Way to go, Jack! People like you make me proud to be a part of this county. You have more support than you know. Keep up the good fight!
Cynthia says
Well thought out and written. You are truly a brave student with a bright future.
Jack M. says
We must all support with our Gay, Lesbian and Transvestite communities. Yhis atrocity cannot stand.
Ramone says
Please don’t use that word transvestite. There’s a big difference between a transgender person and one that dresses in female clothes.
As one that likes to dress in women’s clothes occasionally, I take offense with this label.
Katrina says
Without strong conscientious young people like yourself advocating for the multitudes who are scared and persecuted, humanity stands no chance of redemption. Well written. Do not allow the self-righteous indignant hypocrites to extinguish your flame. There are so many of us who understand that without additional diverse resources being available to young people of any and every persuasion too many are lost and left behind. This world is dark and frightening enough and some would make it even more so. Continue to shine the light of tolerance and inclusion. Don’t allow these fearful judgmental oppressors to demonize love. There is no shame in loving who you love. There is so little of it available lately. Just because they think they’re right doesn’t mean they are.
Well done.
Christopher Lemke says
Jack, I think that most people really don’t care about your agenda. Feel free to prompte whatever you think, but please don’t claim victimhood. You are certainly not a victim. There will be a certain number of people who don’t agree with your ideas, so get used to it. That’s life. Parents have a right to limit what their children are exposed to in schools and to set parameters regarding the appropriateness of materials available to them, just as they would do at home or as they monitor their child’s access to the Internet. My personal belief is that this entire issue has received far greater attention than it deserves.
Pierre Tristam says
Parents have a right to limit what their children are exposed to in schools, yes. They do not have the right to set their own limits on what other children are exposed to. Not in an allegedly free society. Emphasis on allegedly. Lemke also seems to fabricate a claim of victimhood where there is none. Doesn’t appear he read Jack Petocz’s piece for what it is as opposed to reading into it what Lemke projects, though it speaks enough of Lemke’s perspective that he doesn’t seem to find the verbal lynching objectionable. That’s not a “disagreement,” and it certainly is not “life.” It’s vile and inexcusable bigotry.
Deborah Coffey says
Keep telling “it,” Pierre. We all need to call these people out for exactly what they are…vile bigots.
Christopher Todd Lemke says
“They would be victorious otherwise.”
Jack’s own words.
RCH says
Go, Jack. Return the stare from that bizarre McDonald woman.
Sherry says
Thank you, Jack! I see in you the foundations of a future President of our country. Hold very tightly to your principles and values. There will always be insecure ignorant detractors with rotting souls. Take the high road, consider the source, and pick your battles, but continue to speak out against all forms of bigotry.
To those of you who have spoken against this young man instead of the horrific people hurling filthy insults. . . “you” are just as despicable. . . shame on you!
Skibum says
There are many, many people like me here in Palm Coast who SUPPORT you and all of the other LGBTQ students and residents of our community. YOU are valued and respected by me, and I offer my heartfelt congratulations to you for having the courage to not only NOT back down in the face of obvious discrimination and hateful rhetoric, but for taking a very public stand and speaking up for yourself and other students who may not be in a position to advocate for themselves. It is too bad that there are adults on the school board who are complicit in the ongoing bullying and hate-mongering that LGBTQ students already have had to endure from imature and uneducated kids. We should have more student representatives like yourself on the Flagler Co. school board to enlighten and educate the so-called grown ups who need diversity education more than some of the school kids!
LB2KOOL says
Ironically, not all republicans are racist but if you meet a racist they’re probably republican. The same can be said for the homophobic, not all republicans are homophobic but if you meet one they’re probably republican
Jason Davis says
The Florida statute is clear on the topic of distributing obscene material to minors as well as the criminal penalty. This is the issue at hand when you remove all the drama. The next step is to compel law enforcement leaders to enforce the law they swore an oath to enforce.
Pierre Tristam says
Law enforcement investigated, found no criminal infractions. Just because someone says it’s “obscene” doesn’t make it so.
Jason Davis says
You clearly didn’t read or comprehend my comment. Choosing not to enforce doesn’t mean a crime wasn’t committed and continues to be committed. The law is clear. Read it.
Ray W. says
Hello Jason Davis.
First, if there is anything that has been established about pornography (obscenity) prosecutions over the decades, it is that the statutory definition of pornography (obscenity) is not clear. That is the hallmark point made by Justice Stewart when he authored a now-famous comment (“I know it when I see it.”) in his concurring opinion to the U.S. Supreme Court’s majority opinion establishing that pornography (obscenity) is to be measured by application of a community standard test. That means establishing how pornography (obscenity) is to be defined occurs on a case-by-case basis. If there are 500 greater metropolitan areas in this long great but recently widely divided country, that means there might be as many as 500 different definitions of pornography (obscenity), with each definition subject to change in each new case. The law is most definitely not clear on this point.
Second, when enough of our founding fathers voted to ratify the Constitution, certain limited powers that initially belonged to the people were given away by the people and granted to the government. The limited power to determine the occurrence of a crime was one of those powers. The even more limited power to determine whether sufficient probable cause exists to allege the occurrence of a crime was eventually delegated to FCSO, as well as all other law enforcement agencies. In most instances, only after a law enforcement officer swears to an allegation of probable cause does a case get to a prosecutor. Then, in most instances, only after a prosecutor swears to an allegation of proof beyond a reasonable doubt does the case get to a judge or jury. Only after a judge or jury swears to a finding of proof beyond a reasonable doubt does a judge possess the power to impose a judgment that a crime actually occurred. Neither you nor I possess the power to declare that a crime actually occurred, unless we become a judge or a juror.
Mr. Tristam is right.
Jack's Dad.. says
Hi everyone I am Jack’s dad, first I’d like to thank everyone who praised my son for having the courage to come on here and speak what’s in his heart. To the others well that’s an entirely different matter and I know for sure if we met face-to-face you wouldn’t get the chance to say the things that cowards say from the safety of your cellphone or laptop. That’s not an empty threat, that’s my truth. Anyone who knows me knows better but I guess this can be said for all parents of a child who is being attacked by vile individuals as he was that day. You see I never knew or thought that the protest/rally was going to be anything more than a few students supporting the rights of their fellow students. Boy was I wrong you don’t know how sick I felt when my son came home very late that night feeling like he could’ve been followed by one of the twisted vile individuals who said the most disgusting things that night to him and the others. I was also disappointed that law enforcement did not intervene. We all have the right to free speech but that free speech ends when you start making it hate speech at others and threatening the safety of others, and now let’s not forget these are students, many 17 and under, including my son. My son is an outstanding person all the way around. I don’t just say that as his dad, I say that because it’s the truth and I’ve heard it his whole life from strangers no less who had the pleasure of either being a teacher or a fellow student or fellow employee. My son puts his heart into everything he does and his heart is pure. I’m not oblivious to the world today but I never imagined that human beings were so easily capable of attacking my son and others over a difference of opinion. This may shock you but I consider myself a strong conservative. My definition of that means love of country.. Love of family.. Love of God.. Love of my fellow man. I want everyone to do well. I want everyone to succeed. My son and I always at home go back-and-forth over political issues because we have different opinions. But that doesn’t mean we don’t respect each other or love each other. I am the dad of six children, not just my son Jack, and all of them were raised to respect themselves and others and I’ve never ever heard from anyone outside of my family say anything other than good things of my children, and that’s the one thing I can surely be proud of! If you put this issue aside and met my son in any different situation, you would think he was an incredible young man because he is: he’s caring, he’s kind, he’s incredibly intelligent, he’s all of these things and so much more but most of all to me, he is my son and I love him unconditionally and support him. I don’t want to get too dark, that’s not what this post was about. But I would like to warn those who said the most heinous disgusting things to my son that day: you don’t know how much I wish I was there. I know 100% I would’ve been arrested and it would’ve been worth it because the first person that said what they said would’ve had to deal with me, and trust me it wouldn’t have ended well for you! The next time you decide to say things to a child, the most disgusting things imaginable, remember: a parent or guardian or loved one raised this child with love and strength. How dare you call yourselves better than my son.. the only one going straight to hell are those of you who speak hate in your heart! Again, thank you for all the love and support from those of you who have it in your hearts God bless.. and God bless and protect all our children.
Sherry says
To Jack’s Dad. . . BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO Sir!
Obviously you are a wonderful father and person. In times past, your excellent comments would have put the vile bigots in their places of SHAME. Unfortunately, I fear that is no longer the case. The fear and hate filled “cowards” will sit in the comfort of their recliners and continue to spew vitriol from their rotting souls. All in the name of a “right winged” brainwashed cult of traitors to our Democracy.
Jack has the majority with him. He has shown more intelligence and class those speaking against him. GO JACK GO!
Dan says
This has nothing to do with censorship. Only a movement. A progressive movement. I get censored all the time on social media. Not for language but posting negative articles of our current gvt debacle. So why is it ok to censor me? Because I’m a traditionalist? Or a conservative? All these movements towards a “better” way of life is all one sided. And if you don’t agree you are labeled a bigot, racist, sexist, trump following, hate monger. I couldn’t disagree more. But what I don’t understand is if you offend 1 person,and I mean 1, about a progressive topic ie lgbtq, kneeling during anthems, and others you are a very bad human. But if I say I’m offended by someone kneeling or some of these movements moving away from a more traditional way of thinking then nobody cares. Point is if you are leaning towards progressive you are a saint that can do no wrong. Everything you say is to better our world. If you lean right you are uneducated and need to stop living in the past.