Florida attracts sleazeballs, creeps, and the criminally-inclined the way cookie crumbs attract roaches. It’s always been like this: Al Capone wintered in Miami Beach; Richard Nixon escaped to his Key Biscayne compound so he could hang out with his mob-affiliated pal Bebe Rebozo; Charles Ponzi made a name for himself for selling Florida swampland — impossible to build on— to unsuspecting Yankees. Russell Brand almost made it on the list.
Diane Roberts
Florida’s No-Show Republicans Are Hiding From Voters’ Anger
Something is changing. People are angry, auto-calling their representatives, making signs, demonstrating and showing up at town halls. But Republican representatives don’t show up, not any more. They don’t like getting booed. They don’t like facing outraged citizens. A few tried holding town halls. Did not go well. But hey, at least they actually held town halls. Nobody’s seen hide nor hair of Florida Republicans.
Can Democrats Get Their Act Together Before Its Too Late?
For more than a century, Democrats were the party of slavery, states’ rights, and Jim Crow, but, gradually and imperfectly, became the party of civil rights, voting rights, and workers’ rights, switching places with Republicans, who once had a strong streak of social progressivism. For 30 years, Florida elected New South governors such as Reubin Askew, Bob Graham, and Lawton Chiles, leaders who believed in education, open government, protecting the environment — crazy stuff like that. Where are they now?
Lawmakers’ Circus Returns to Tallahassee
The circus is coming to town. Y’all might know it as the regular session of the Florida Legislature. Don’t even begin to think this year can’t possibly be worse than last year, when lawmakers passed a dumpster full of bills to make Florida worse.
From Byron Donalds to Casey DeSantis, Florida’s 2026 Race for Governor Lunges for the Bizarre
The sitting governor is limping around like a disabled waterfowl with a bad beer hangover, inspiring a high level of schadenfreude in the Florida Legislature. So — even though the next gubernatorial election doesn’t take place until November 2026 — it’s past time to look to the future: Who will rule the citrus-cankered, gun-crazy, storm-battered Sunshine State?
DeSantis’s Know-Nothing Assault on Florida’s Public Universities
DeSantis, the lame duck and failed presidential candidate, may have lost much of his hold on the Legislature but, given that he appoints state university trustees, our institutions must still suffer his anti-intellectualism, his spite, and his obsession with “woke.”
Tallahassee Goes Looney Tunes Over Immigration
Ron DeSantis is spittle-spouting, white boot-stamping, holding-his breath-till-he’s-blue, screaming-till-he’s-sick mad. He’s toddler mad, Elmer Fudd mad: like, vewy, vewy angwy. The Florida Legislature has defied him; dissed him; insulted him on immigration. Whatever his future, these days DeSantis is becoming shrill, declaring he’ll veto the Legislature’s bill, flying around the state (at taxpayer expense, naturally), telling Floridians to get up in their lawmakers’ faces and demand complete capitulation: “You have your marching orders.”
Imagine What Will be Left of Florida After Our Leaders Are Done With It
This is the country we’re now living in: dictatorial, unrepresentative, and deeply unkind. What will be left of Florida in four years? What will be left of America?
Manifest Perfidy: Trump Is No Seward
As the Dear Leader asserted the other day in his completely rational press conference, if the 51st-staters don’t play nice, we’ll bring them to their frostbitten knees with “economic force” and turn their so-called “provinces” into good Christian Florida counties with lousy hospitals and empty libraries.
As Florida Celebrates Ignorance, SAT Scores and College Rankings Drop, Teachers Flee
A recent column in the Independent Florida Alligator laments how college professors and other educators who teach disfavored subjects or use certain words are beginning to self-censor. The headline reads, “Think While It’s Still Legal.” Gov. Ron DeSantis and his angry regime aren’t big fans of thinking. Or learning. They hate and fear knowledge.
Maga’s Mega Mean Girls
Maga Mean Girls take pleasure in tormenting people, especially those weaker than themselves, and causing gratuitous pain. As Atlantic Monthly essayist Adam Serwer wrote in 2018, “The cruelty is the point.” And nobody enjoys cruelty more than Donald Trump, Mean Girl of the Century.
Florida Leads an Authoritarian Assault on Higher Education
Authoritarians always love the poorly educated and the mis-educated. The well-educated, the readers, the questioners, those who demand evidence, gather facts, and trust verifiable information (as opposed to propaganda) are a threat. Aspirants to dictatorhood know the first play is destroy education. Nip that critical thinking in the bud. DeSantis is showing the way in Florida.
12-Year-Old Palm Coast Girl Faces Felony Over Death Threats in Fight Over a Boy
A week after an 11-year-old Virginia boy was sentenced in county court for making a series of threats that disrupted multiple schools for several days running, a 12-year-old Palm Coast girl was arrested on charges of threatening to kill another child in a dispute over a boy, using SnapChat to convey the threats. No school was involved in the latest incident.
Drug Court Graduation During Addict’s Murder Trial Draws Thin Line Between Abyss and Recovery
Four participants in Flagler County’s Drug Court graduated Thursday in a ceremony presided over by Circuit Judge Dawn Nichols, with Retired Judge Terence Perkins, in unique circumstances: the ceremony took place in the same courtroom where a murder trial was ongoing, with the jury deliberating over the fate of a drug abuser and dealer, whose shot of fentanyl killed another man. The juxtaposition of the two events sharpened the thin line between loss and recovery for substance abusers.
Where Florida Went, The Nation Is About to Follow
Goodbye to America defining itself as a Beacon of Hope, the Light of Freedom, or any of that other stuff they told you in 3rd grade: the rule of law, checks and balances, free speech, science-based health care, and son on: we saw it all in Florida. It was just prelude.
Tips for Surviving Election Day
No matter what, we all need some tips for surviving the shouting, the demonstrating, the tantrum-throwing, the reality-denying, and the lawsuits, which are the habitual response of our fellow citizens when they don’t get their way. Here you go.
Behind the Desperate Attempt to Defeat Abortion-Rights Amendment: GOP’s Contempt for Women’s Autonomy
DeSantis knows the majority of Floridians — like the majority of Americans — support a woman’s right to choose whether to have a baby, and he’s so scared Amendment 4 will pass he’s resorting to using every dirty trick in the patriarchal book to stop it. Like Donald Trump, he despises women, for whose right to determine what happens with their own bodies is nothing short of obsessive.
New College’s Descent from Stellar Florida College to ‘Eugenicon’
Steve Sailer, a “eugenicon” who believes Black people are genetically inferior to whites, race is biological, interracial marriage is wrong, and “core Americans” are by definition white, has been invited to speak at one of New College’s “Socratic Stage Dialogues.” Socrates himself would not know whether to laugh, cry, or take an even bigger swig of hemlock.
Donald Trump’s ‘Weaves’ of Incoherence
We are truly blessed in the oratory department this political season with Donald J. Trump; we are perched on the Parnassus of campaign discourse. Nobody’s ever seen anything like it. If Samuel Beckett were alive (which he isn’t) he would be in awe of some of Trump’s monologues with their startling juxtapositions and its Dadaist energy.
Ron DeSantis Is Getting Angrier, and He’s Taking It Out on Florida
DeSantis was always a rage-hampered homunculus, but now that he’s been humiliated on the national stage and his presidential aspirations squashed like a palmetto bug, he’s only gotten angrier. And he’s taking it out on Florida.
The GOP’s Romance with Misogyny
That was Donald Trump watching the Democratic National Convention, wheezing in impotent rage at those uppity, nasty women, and all those people determined to elect Kamala Harris. The Party of Misogyny (you know them as Republicans) simply cannot process the possibility a woman, a chick, a human with a vajayjay! might become the most powerful person on the planet.
Trump and Elon’s Musky Bromance
Elon Musk gives aid and comfort to right wing rioters in England, stokes hatred, accusing an Olympic boxer (a woman) of being a man, does his damnedest to destroy once-valuable companies, and spreads 19th Century racist pseudo-science. He’s also — no surprise here — supporting Donald Trump. The bromance is mutual.
Time for TrumpOlympics™
As a fellow from a state the French have never heard of put it, these “woke Olympics” are “not going to fly in Oklahoma.” We need a new Olympics, a wholesome, American Olympics without the degenerates and the foreigners. Ladies and Gentlemen, here are the TrumpOlympics™!
The Kamala Harris Factor
Donald J. Trump, J.D. Vance, Speaker of the House Mike “Mighty Porn Resister” Johnson, Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Mensa, British emotional support fascist Nigel Farage, regular fascist Nick Fuentes, comedian Russell Brand, comedian Megyn Kelly, her former Fox “News” klavern-mates, Ronbo DeSantis, and five or six white people in a Midwestern focus group all agree: You must not vote for Kamala Harris.
J.D. Vance Eclipses DeSantis. But He Might Want to Watch His Back.
If Trump wins and somehow doesn’t declare himself president-for-life, Vance will be the nominee in 2028. Ditto if Trump loses and the country survives the violence. Vance could end up as president before then, possibly without lifting a finger — except maybe to pass Trump the Pretzel Bacon Pub Cheeseburgers that finally tip him over into massive stroke territory. Elon Musk, Peter Thiel, and their autocracy-loving billionaire buds will see to that.
DeSantis’s Florida: The Who Cares State
Florida’s current regime (motto: “Ignorance is Strength”) operates on the theory that if you refuse to utter certain words — ”racism,” for example, “Covid,” or “climate crisis” — and pretend with all your might that what you see in front of you isn’t real, then the problem disappears.
Donald Trump’s Ten Commandments, Updated
Diane Roberts lets Donald Trump speak his soul: Like I told the Faith and Freedom Coalition (great people), “If I took this shirt off you’d see a beautiful, beautiful person, but you’d see wounds all over me. I’ve taken a lot of wounds.” You know who else took a lot of wounds? Jesus.
Gov. DeSantis’s War on the Arts
Some people are ignorant and proud of it. Ron DeSantis is one of those people. The man just vetoed almost every pitiful penny of arts and culture funding in the state budget. Museums, music, youth programs, local treasures, historic houses, Black heritage centers, performing arts spaces, dance companies, kids’ music programs, even renowned institutions such as the Ringling Museum of Art. With his characteristic eloquence, DeSantis snarled, “Some of the stuff I don’t think was appropriate for state tax dollars.”
How Dare These College Kids Protest for Humanity Toward Palestinians Instead of Getting Wasted?
Standing around on college lawns, protesting against genocide, calling for a ceasefire in Gaza and an end to arms shipments — what are they thinking? These students should be shopping, getting wasted at end-of-semester parties, and engaging in meaningless sex. Instead, they’re going around acting like citizens, engaging in civil disobedience, exercising their right to free speech, telling university administrations to get rid of all investments in Israel, and demanding humanitarian aid for Palestinians.
The Fear and Loathing Behind GOP’s Christian White Nationalism
MAGA adherents to Aryan tough-guy Jesus see America becoming less white and less Christian, so they’re freaking out, flailing around, breaking things — such as your right to control your own body, your right to read what you want, identify however you want, and love who you want.
Rest Easy: Florida Law Erases and Bans All References to Climate Change
You probably think Ron DeSantis and the yahoos, grifters, simps, dolts, and dunderheads who populate the Florida Legislature are collectively incapable of solving even one of the bazillion issues facing this state. But the Legislature has figured out how to fix climate change. Your bought-and-paid-for Legislature has delivered a bill that amends Florida statutes to delete all references to climate change. Thanks to them, climate change is gone. Erased. Kaputt. Ya no es. C’est fini.
Florida Is Blatantly Mixing Church and State in So-Called ‘Pregnancy Crisis Centers’
Planned Parenthood says Crisis Pregnancy Centers are “run by anti-abortion activists who have a shady, harmful agenda: to scare, shame, or pressure you out of getting an abortion, and to tell lies about abortion, birth control, and sexual health.”
Florida Spring Break: Come for the Sunshine, Stay for the Measles.
Too many dunderheads are buying what dangerous anti-vaxxers like Ron DeSantis and his pet quack Joseph Ladapo are selling, so the measles virus is roaring back in Florida as the governor basks in a series of retro-reactionary new laws, from the end of the DEI movement in state universities to the ban on local governments’ attempts to treat their workers humanely in the face of climate change–a pair of words disallowed in the governor’s administration.
To An Increasingly Hysterical Right, Women and Their Bodies Are a Danger To the Republic
What’s America’s biggest problem? Not catastrophic climate change; not income inequality; not systemic racism. It’s women. OK, also communists. They’re everywhere, but the Florida Legislature means to nip that in the bud. But even the threat of a worker’s revolt pales in comparison to the Woman Problem. To the increasingly hysterical Right, women — and their unruly bodies — are a danger to the Republic.
Moms for Liberty’s Book of Morons
The moms of Moms for “Liberty” are feeling a little touchy, put-upon, even diminished. Their do-boy DeSantis crashed out of the presidential race. They’re losing school board elections. They’re making idiots of themselves in the national media, as when Moms co-founder Tiffany Justice simultaneously defends taking books off school library shelves while denying that Moms want books taken off school library shelves, unless they’re by Black writers or gay writers, or ones dealing with the Holocaust, racism, or any sex.
MAGA Has Taylor Swift’s Number
Clearly, Taylor Swift hates America, practices mind control, is corrupting the NFL and is an emissary from the Deep State, but at least people like Stephen Miller, Matt Gaetz and Mike Crispi know the score, and are saving us from the cabal.
DeSantis Is Kaput
Something is terribly wrong here: Iowa, a far-off land of snow and butter, failed to give our Ronbo a win. Yet he did everything right. He visited all 99 counties. He shook hooves with every single cow. He displayed the depth of his feelings toward his wife when he gave her a warm handshake after one of the debates.
Welcome to the Old South, The Myth that Refuses to Die
In Florida, we prefer not to discuss ‘slavery’ unless we are enlightening the ignorant about how it was Not That Bad. You have only to read Miss Margaret Mitchell’s brilliant and perfectly accurate novel to see the Truth of this.
An Affair to Dismember: The Tawdriness of Florida’s GOP Chair and His Moms for Liberty Phony
Republicans cast themselves as the party of piety, traditional gender roles, and family values. This is at odds with reality. Florida GOP chairman Christian Ziegler is accused of rape. His wife Bridget, co-founder of Moms for Liberty and member of the Sarasota School Board who has vowed to bring “religious values” to education, also admits to having an affair with her. Gov. Ron DeSantis had said he wished he could put a Bridget Ziegler on every school board “in every county in Florida.”
The Wheels Are Falling Off the Ronbo Bus
Ron DeSantis has decided to show how tough he is, going on the offensive not against Moscow but against a peaceable nation of pink buildings, blue seas, and Black people, wooing voters in Iowa and New Hampshire by hollering, “Like, if the Bahamas were firing rockets into Fort Lauderdale, like, we would not accept that for, like, one minute. I mean, we would just level it.”
DeSantis’s Censorship University System Is Causing a Brain Drain
DeSantis is obsessed with remaking education according to his authoritarian tendencies, doing his damnedest to wreck K-12 with his army of book-banning harpies in “Moms for Liberty” and his Scared Karens legislation, and forbidding honest discussion of slavery and racism so as to never make white kids feel “discomfort, guilt, anguish, or any other form of psychological distress.”
Florida’s Matt Gaetz: Jerkiness In a Class By Himself
As Sen. Lindsey Graham once remarked, “If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you.” You could probably murder Matt Gaetz in the House chamber and receive a standing ovation.
In Florida, Surgeon General Normalizes Medical Quackery
In 2021, when Ron DeSantis brought the Quack Ladapo to Florida, it was like returning to a simpler, much stupider time, when docs prescribed drinking a little ground unicorn horn mixed with water as a cure for the plague. Or if you were fresh out of unicorns (or the virgins you need to catch them), you could always try chicken butt.
Remembering Lucy Morgan, Florida’s Most Feared Journalist
When Lucy Morgan started out, female reporters were usually confined to the food and style pages. She was the machete clearing the trail for many women in Florida, not the first pioneering newspaperwoman but surely the most significant. Causing trouble — for the powerful, at least — was her job, and she mentored generations of journalists.
College Football Reflects America As it Really Is: Indefensible In a Civilized World
It’s college football season in Florida and you know what that means: trash talking, martial metaphors, peculiar rituals involving animals, bizarre clothing in colors not found in nature, bad grammar, mansplaining, and racism. College football reinforces some of our least attractive stereotypes — those Black kids sure are fast! — and extreme gender roles, as well: huge dudes on the field knocking the living hell out of each other, while small (though quite athletic) women with incongruously large bows in their hair cheer them on.
Crazy and Cruel Sell Well in Florida. So Scott Is Running Again.
In response to the NAACP, the ACLU and the Human Rights Campaign warnings that travel to Florida could be hazardous to people of color, LGBTQ people, or people who just believe in decency and tolerance, Scott posted a huffy hunk of mansplaining on that X-thing that everyone still calls Twitter, warning “socialists and communists” and suchlike to stay out of Florida.
Channeling George Wallace, DeSantis Uses Education to Keep Blacks Down
Despite those idiotic “Build the Wall” campaign ads, he didn’t seem to be a Trump-style racist when he took office in 2019. There was hope he’d acknowledge our sad history and move us toward a more equitable society. But he didn’t. And he isn’t. Maybe the Napoleonically ambitious DeSantis decided white nationalism was his ticket to the Republican presidential nomination. His racism is less overt than Trump’s or George Wallace’s but almost as damaging.
Ohio’s Message to Florida: There’s Still Hope for Democracy
Terrified that an amendment giving women — not Gilead Republicans — control over their reproductive health would pass in November, Ohio’s right-wingers figured they’d change the rules in the middle of the game. But on Aug. 8, voters in this allegedly red state rejected a Republican-backed measure to make it harder for citizens to amend their constitution.
The GOP’s Death Cult Is Holding Us Hostage to Climate Ignorance
The Earth is being held hostage by the party of ignorance, “conservatives” who no longer want to conserve anything other than white privilege. They’ve become a death cult, denying what’s obvious to rational, literate people. Who cares if the seas are boiling? As long as they “own the libs.”
Such, Such Were the Joys of Plantations in DeSantis’s History of Florida
Gov. DeSantis and his crack education team are all about facts. In his Florida history version of plantation life, enslaved persons were treated like family, they learned invaluable skills, like cooking, and learned to make quality footwear. When you think about it, plantations should really be called “agricultural opportunity centers.”