Bored almost to tears as I was covering a charter review workshop intended for community involvement–there was none–I scrolled across a teaser from the Washington Post. The new citizenship test “for aspiring Americans” was out. It was, in the Post’s curiously tumescent phrase, “longer, harder” than its predecessor, as one imagines all thingies maga must be. The test randomizes 20 questions out of a possible 128. You must answer only 12 correctly if you are to win a reprieve from ICE picks. Who doesn’t want D students for new citizens?
The Post offered a 10-question teaser. I bit, and had them answered correctly in 90 seconds. I’m not boasting. At my age, pedantry is second nature to prostatitis. But I’m pointing out how pitiful the test must be if an unreconstructed ex-Lebanese liberal can ace what is supposed to be one of the more challenging measures of earning entry into this once-upon-a-time city upon a hill. Has aspiration fallen so low? (Well, yes. Picture that escalator descent into the Underworld at 721 Fifth Ave.)
The problem with the questionnaire is that it’s not a civics test. It’s certainly not a citizenship test. It’s the sort of questions Jay Scherr baritones between nachos at his weekly trivia night at Tortugas. What does it matter if I know that one of the “important events” of the Revolutionary War (not, as the test has it, the “American Revolution”) was the Battle of Yorktown? Knowing that doesn’t show I understand the significance of the war. Nor does naming five of the original 13 colonies, as opposed to, more insightfully, naming a couple of Confederate states and a couple of Union states to show an understanding of sectionalism. Incidentally I have nothing against Jay Scherr’s trivia nights, let alone Tortugas and its Melvillian windows on the Atlantic. But I suspect even Jay, the current president of civics-obsessed Flagler Tiger Bay Club, would want his citizenship tests a bit more challenging than beer pong.
To wit: “James Madison was famous for many things. Name one.” The required answer: “President during the War of 1812.” Who cares? Madison’s presidency was one of the least consequential, an example of “fumbling and small-minded statecraft,” as the historian Richard Hofstadter put it. The correct answer should have been: Primary author of the Bill of Rights, a document immensely more important to a citizen’s understanding of American freedoms than that unnecessary war or forgettable presidency.
Asking what Benjamin Franklin (“founder of the first public libraries,” “postmaster” were accepted answers) George Washington (“Father of Our Country,” “President of the Constitutional Convention”) and Eisenhower (“34th president”) were famous for is equally moronic, because none of the accepted answers reveal what it took for them to lead justly as opposed to merely lead and exercise political skills (world history doesn’t lack for politically skilled, cruel leaders). Washington’s “superiority lay in character, not talents,” you once read in a classic textbook, a line so rich in American paradox that could not possibly survive in the era of leadership with neither talents nor character. Why not accept answers about Washington’s hatred of parties or Eisenhower’s warning about the military-industrial complex?
You’re also asked to name an example of an American innovation (the lightbulb? Seriously?) and how many senators there are. Again, who cares? I was asked that question at my citizenship test in 1986, though I was also asked to name my two senators. I survived mouthing Pat Moynihan but had to ask for an air-sickness bag at having to mouth the name of Al D’Amato.
The test contains outright factual errors and ideological biases. The Federalist Papers did not influence the U.S. Constitution, as the cheat sheet states. The Constitution was already written when that trio of brilliance wrote all 85 Papers. They influenced the Constitution’s very narrow passage in state legislatures, not its writing, and influenced the subsequent Bill of Rights, a more essential document to the preservation of liberty than the imperious Constitution, which “squints toward monarchy,” in Patrick Henry’s words.
You’ll get nothing in the test on the latent monarchism of the Constitution or how it was as bitterly, wonderfully debated as the nastiest rezoning hearing you’ve ever seen and barely squeaked by opposing votes. “Name one famous founding-era American who opposed the Constitution?” Not on the test, but I’ll accept such heroic revolutionaries as Patrick Henry, Samuel Adams, John Hancock, George Mason, Elbridge Gerry–yes, the guy who gave his name to gerrymandering–George Clinton and many more, all opposed.
Dissent in American history is twice as old as the Pledge and endlessly more useful. (Wishful question: “What famous American Socialist wrote the Pledge and preached about ‘Jesus the Socialist’?”). But it seems we now prefer our history as edict and cudgel rather than inquiry and insight, an ironically authoritarian perspective when testing for the world’s oldest democracy (yes yes I know: Republic, which we happen to not be keeping, if Elizabeth Powel were to ask Ben Franklin today).
A question about the cause of the first Gulf War is tendentiously asked as “Why did the United States enter the Persian Gulf War?” If you’d picked “To secure oil in Kuwait,” you’d have been wrong, though it would have been my first choice. I refrained, knowing by then that the test is not merely about trivial facts, but about American infallibility, virtue and supremacy. The accepted answer is “To force the Iraqi military from Kuwait.”
Iraq’s Saddam Hussein had invaded Kuwait. The first phase of the war was called Desert Shield, not yet Desert Storm, in explicit recognition of the intent of the original mission: to safeguard Saudi Arabia’s oil fields. The first Bush opted to kick Saddam out of Kuwait only later–not because Kuwait was a model of democracy; it was not, nor was Saudi Arabia–but to reclaim Kuwaiti oil for America’s splurge of gas-guzzling SUVs.
I don’t begrudge the test for not asking how the first Gulf War got Osama dreaming about 9/11, how we lost Iraq in the second, lost Afghanistan in a war twice as long as the siege of Troy, how we lost Lebanon, Iran, Vietnam, whether torture, rendition, Guantanamo are the sort of things Franklin, Washington and Eisenhower would have wanted to be known for. Aspirationally, we should focus on the positive, and there’s been plenty of it, as long as we agree that those other questions, by being asked, by being debated, by being appreciated, are likelier to strengthen what positive values this country offers.
Responsible citizenship is also healthy skepticism and that spirit of liberty “which is not too sure that it is right,” as Judge Learned Hand put it in his great speech at the 1944 “I Am an American Day” before 1.5 million people in Manhattan’s Central Park. 150,000 of them were new citizens and Americans newly of voting age. They lifted their right hand as the judge led them in the Pledge, the one occasion, other than at my naturalization, where I would have happily joined them.
There are a few questions that would point to the aspiring citizen’s understanding of the country’s professed values and mechanics: the separation of powers, term limits, political and religious liberty, and–surprisingly for this era of anti-tax hysteria–the civic duty of taxes.
But most questions prepare you for filling an oval or knowing the difference between A, B and C rather than for citizenship, while the test as a whole is silent on the role of protest and disobedience in American history, on the labor movement, on minority rights (a pair of words you won’t see in the test), on the lost promises of Reconstruction and the Civil Rights movement, and of course on the right to marry whom you please and live where you please, redlining and HOA tyrannies notwithstanding.
The test defines how a whitewashing nationalist wants history taught: as flag-waving allegiance to Anglo virility. It is the sort of product we can expect from the president’s “patriotic education” commission or the Heritage Foundation’s “Phoenix Declaration,” the new edict in Florida education. But it is not citizenship, at least not outside a reeducation camp. And it is right in line with the president’s restoration of Confederate statues, cherry-tree legends, America-first chauvinism, and the future, further desecration of the Black Hills with his mug alongside those of Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and TR.
Speaking of which, one last question you won’t find on the test: Who was the white supremacist and KKK activist who carved Rushmore?
Pierre Tristam is the editor of FlaglerLive. A version of this piece airs on WNZF.
JimboXYZ says
Don’t worry, there either already was, currently is or will be a Democrat operated NGO that is more than willing to be subsidized by taxpayer funding & charge a fee for the crash course & coach the answers. Illegal immigration was big business 2021-2024 ? As I understand it, the cartels did quite well under Biden-Harris ?
Stephen J Playe says
I think Trump University used to have a course like that.
Ed says
If this “test is so easy why do we have illegals here.
Any moron can pass the test just doesn’t want to invest the time without a handout & incentive
Lance Carroll says
The test sounds like it is very similar to a Flagler live essay.
Pierre Tristam says
Verbose? Pedantic? Florid? OCD-ly detailed? Ambiguously dialectic? Endless? I don’t think so.
Sherry says
@ lance. . . If you don’t appreciate award winning Flaglerlive, why are you commenting here?
Pierre Tristam says
Addiction is a serious matter Sherry. We must empathize with Lance, not lecture. We’ve offered him help before. But until he chooses to stop reading FlaglerLive, there’s nothing we can do.
Sparky says
Or easier than touching a live wire huh Lance! Real genius aren’t you.
Atwp says
Why are Trump supporters so blind?
Tired of it says
Obviously Jimbo and Ed have no idea what the process and the cost to actually become an American citizen entails. There are no handouts to help in the process. It isn’t easy when you are picking crops, cleaning hotel toilets, mowing lawns or putting on roofs in 90+ degree heat (you know, the jobs Americans don’t want and won’t take) to find the time and money to apply for citizenship/green cards. And by the way, no illegals don’t get Social Security, Medicare, Snap or any of the many other assistance plans Americans get. Anyone that tells you different is flat out lying.
Laurel says
Tired of it: But I’ll bet that they will buy some “I’m the President, can you believe it” merch.
JimboXYZ says
Yes, life was so easy for our family in Volusia County back in the 1960’s & 70’s. Until Spruce Creek was built, there was no air conditioning at any of those K-12 schools. I remember when Mainland HS wasn’t the campus that Vince Carter turned into an extension of DBCC/DSC.
FL has always been hot & humid, that much hasn’t changed in my lifetime. And I was born with money in the bank account that I didn’t have to work the same jobs as a teen. Yet somehow, without the bar being lowered for tests & scores, I & so many others were able to learn all of that for course content as the standard core education & even learn the advanced program studies to be able to finance a college degree or few, mostly out of pocket. Along the way, while I didn’t clean motel rooms, I certainly bussed tables, washed dishes and anything else that TOIS felt I got a pass on in life. Nothing comes easy, they weren’t giving me anything I didn’t have to work for along the way. And the parents had enough chores that were an exchange for meals & lodging as compensation. Minimum wage was executive pay for the allowance that I had to earn. Until an allowance was offered, it was a slavery trade model. The chores covered anything one would have to perform to feed themselves, laundry, cooking, yard work. Oughta try mowing a lot with a reel mower sometime during the summer. I was doing that up into my late 50’s. End of the day, I had it better than some, but worse than others. Do what you gotta do though. And not complain about the lottery of life that anyone is born into ! In the end you either rise up & accomplish or whine about the bar not being low enough ?
HTC says
Atwp, really, half the country are blind and only you and the other half can see.
Sherry says
@htc. . . well, as millions of us see it, one half, or more, of our American citizens still live in “Fact and Science Based Reality”. The other half, not so much!
Pogo says
@And don’t run with scissors
William Moya says
👍
What Else Is New says
Thank you, Tired Of It. Pierre Tristam is a gift to Flagler County and journalism. We know full well his insight into becoming a United States citizen is legitimate. Pierre speaks the truth regarding Americanism vs MAGAism. Install incompetents in the White House Cabinet, dumb down society, ban books and free speech, belittle anyone who isn’t of Aryan birth (think Hitler’s philosophy), decrease the quality and beauty of the White House to vulgarity, Peter Thiel grooming JD They’re Eating the Dogs and Cats Vance for Prez., ICE arresting and deporting citizens and never ending egregious criminal acts by the Trump administration.
JW says
Think there are more important ways to show your value for the country. The other day I noticed that we are now going through another pandemic without recognizing it: the IGNORANCE pandemic and let’s not forget that AI can do the test for you flawlessly. So all robots will automatically be confirmed as citizens? They eat lots of electricity without paying for it and they don’t pay tax. It is just a new way of slavery.
PaulT says
What I remember of the citizenship test which I took and passed 25 years ago, was that the questions were all civics based. About the constitution, the system of government and names of prominent members of governmebt. The research I undertook to prepare myself for that final interview and ‘the test’ seemed sort of relevant at the time, almost as important as the oath of allegiance I swore later at the naturalization ceremony.
I agree with what I think Pierre is saying, that studying and learning the answers to questions about America’s history will do nothing to prepare people to be useful, involved citizens. I ‘upgraded’ from a Green Card so I could identify with my new country and contribute to it and so I could vote. At that time not so long ago I wasn’t in fear of being rejected because of a careless repost or like on Facebook.
Back then Permenant Resident status appeared to be just that, the right to reside in this country permanently. That’s not the case anymore though becauseat some faceless entity in the State Department can upturn lives by cancelling residency at a whim. For saying something ‘nasty’ about government policy or support the ‘wrong’ cause. Or maybe even for endorse the ‘wrong’ political party.
Sherry says
Thank you, Paul T. !
Those who quite mistakenly think that receiving “legal” naturalization these days is “easy” and completely paid for by some kind of “Democrat” agency are completely misguided. They don’t have a clue just how difficult it is to immigrate “legally” to the US. Even “naturalized” citizens are now under threat by the current racist regime!
Ed P says
Comparing the 100 question – 2008 test to the revised 128 question- 2025 test, it appears most of the 2008 questions are included. Albeit reworded. The 2008-10 questions only needed 6 right. The 2025-20 questions and needs 12 right. 60 percent for both passing scores.
It is statistically better to take a 10-question test and need only 6 correct answers. But as the number of questions increase, the test takers true knowledge/understanding might need to be greater to pass… or do they just have to memorize more?
Jay tomm says
85% of born American couldn’t pass the old test or the new test! Let that sink in!
Mark says
My wife went through the citizens test as well, somewhere around 30 years ago or so. I helped her through the learning process. What surprised me at the time was how much I didn’t know. After all I’m a 3rd generation American, through high school and with some college and several tech certifications and some of the questions just stumped me. I don’t recall all of the questions we prepared for but most were very relevant to understanding the US and how it’s democracy works, but there also a few questions that in my mind were pretty useless, similar to what the above article points out. But hey, she took the test, was naturalized and all was good. If I were to look at all of the questions again, I’d probably still be stumped by some of them.
Ray W. says
Here is an unusual deportation story, as portrayed by a Tampa Bay Times reporter.
Zbignew Janusz Bojerski, nee, Paul John Bojerski, was born in 1946 to Polish parents in a Lubeck, Germany, displaced persons camp. At the close of WWII, entire populations had been displaced because of lines drawn on maps during summits. Russia was larger than it was before the Potsdam summit. Poland shifted west hundreds of miles. Germany had shrunk.
At five years of age, Mr. Bojerski’s parents brought him to America, when they legally immigrated to Cleveland, Ohio.
He was arrested in 1966 for larceny and again in 1967 for receiving stolen goods.
In 1968, an immigration judge deemed those convictions as acts of moral turpitude sufficient to justify deportation. Neither West Germany nor Soviet Poland would accept him and he was released from detention and remained in the U.S.
In 1969, an “immigration authority” ordered another release from custody and authorized his application for employment authorization.
In 1972, after a fraternity house party that devolved into a rape of a woman by multiple men, Mr. Bojerski was arrested; he served three years in prison. The other men pleaded guilty to the charges. He denied them and was convicted at trial. He always denied participating in the event.
After release from prison, Mr. Bojerski completed his college education and became an optician, working for Montgomery Ward for more than 30 years.
In 1982, after moving to Orlando, Mr. Bojerski met and later married his wife.
Because he traveled both to Canada on his honeymoon and later to Mexico with his wife without incident at either border, he later unsuccessfully argued when applying for permanent residency that he had complied with his 1968 deportation order. His application for permanent residency was finally denied in 2010.
A new supervision order was issued, replacing his old supervision order.
After nearly 60 years of complying with some form of immigration supervision, Mr. Bojerski, now 79, visited an ICE officer, as was his routine. The ICE officer informed him that he was soon to be deported, giving him until October 30th to present travel documents. But, because of the nature of his birth, he has no passport nor any country that will recognize him as a citizen.
On October 30th, he appeared as ordered, sans travel documents. He was detained and taken first to Alligator Alcatraz and then to Krome Detention Center. He had a fourth back surgery scheduled for last week. He asserts that he no longer has access to his prescribed medications. According to his wife of 37 years, he is now restricted to use of a wheelchair. His step-daughter has moved in with his now 82-year-old wife to care for her.
Make of this what you will.
Me?
I do not claim to have an answer, much less the answer.
Is Mr. Bojerski one of the worst of the worst? I don’t think so, not on these facts.
It strikes me that he is not one of the best of the best among us, either.
Then again, for 50 years he first studied to earn a career opportunity and then worked in that career until retirement and then lived into an old age of ever more limited mobility, without violating new laws.
For 57 years, he has routinely reported to immigration agents.
For 57 years, our government has known that no foreign nation will claim him as one of their own. He tried and failed to obtain permanent resident status.
For 37 years he remained married to the same woman, who now needs her daughter to care for her.
Perhaps, he is every bit the ordinary man, flawed like us all, when considered over a long life of good and bad years.
Perhaps the three aged convictions will forever follow him. Acts of moral turpitude have long had that effect under the law.
Does today’s possible now punitive deportation proceeding properly follow the aged crimes?
I am reminded of a Florida farmer who inherited from his family a large tract of land.
An informant in an ongoing drug distribution scheme was working under a contract with federal drug agents. His contract promised him 10% of any proceeds of any property forfeited in connection with any crime the informant learned about the farm. The informant set up the crime by approaching the farmer and offering to pay him money if he would let a plane land on his property. The farmer agreed to the plan.
The informant then set up a drug flight into Florida. The plane landed on the farmland loaded with drugs. The farmer was convicted of conspiracy to distribute drugs. He served his time and was assessed a fine. Jeopardy attached to the deal at the time of the plea.
The government filed notice of forfeiture. As I recall, the land was valued at $1.5 million and the informant stood to gain $150,000 for his work.
The USSC, as I recall, considered the fact that the informant had selected the one particular farmer among many possible farmers because of the large tract of land, and that the informant had been the one to set up the criminal event.
Under those circumstances, a forfeiture of land worth $1.5 million was not a civil forfeiture proceeding; it was a second criminal punishment, and it violated the Constitutional proscription against two jeopardies for the same event.
Can a deportation proceeding based on aged crimes long ago paid in full ever cross the line into punitive sanctions so severe they constitute a second jeopardy for the same event? I don’t know.
But I do find it hard to argue that Mr. Bojerski is one of the worst of the worst among us all.