Over the years I have changed my nationality, my name and my religion. Some of that caused problems with a few members of my family and lesser others, at least for a while. They got used to it and respected all the changes. Anyway it really wasn’t their business. One’s identity is one’s own and would mean nothing if it were dependent on others’ approval. Fortunately we live in a country that compulsively pledges allegiance to liberty for all.
Or so you’d think. That line is more often a crock than a truth. Who you are very much depends on how others want you to be or who they assume you are rather than what you prefer to be, especially in this land of supposed liberties.
Most of our history was built on defining and demeaning others according to fabricated stereotypes. It’s a means of control. By reducing others to stick figures of assumptions, we take away their humanity and more easily slot them in the roles we want them to play. We absolve our conscience so we can more easily enslave or slaughter them. They cannot be citizens or human beings. They are mere parasites or property.
Native Americans were romanticized and demeaned as either noble or savages, or both, but certainly not as human beings on par with white Americans. There’s no need to remind you to what extent Blacks were dehumanized, starting in law written with brain cells three-fifth compromised and ending at the lash of a whip or the end of a rope, with Christianity’s supposed blessing. We sent 120,000 American citizens to concentration camps during World War Two because they looked Asian, though we didn’t do the same even to declared Nazi sympathizers who filled Madison Square Garden. The sympathizers were white. We’ve been doing likewise to Muslims and to Ay-rabs, down to purposefully mispronouncing their race, not just since 9/11, but since the 1973 oil embargo.
Migrants are now reduced to the same dumb sterotypes, the way Mike Waltz, our former congressman and current national security adviser, did on TV the other day as he defended the illegal use of an 18th century law to deport migrants in defiance of a judge’s orders. He unholstered the word “terrorist” to describe them, then spoke of “attacks, torture, rape,” identically to the way his boss in 2015 reduced Mexicans crossing the border to criminals and rapists. Waltz of course, a sieve of military secrets, is proving himself not to be the smartest cookie in Trump’s stable of jarheads.
In all these cases the stereotypes relied on fabricated rationales to control, marginalize, imprison and at times expel those others, but not to deny their existence. Their existence was the problem, requiring all those tools of control.
Now the United States in general and Florida in particular are enacting laws that literally erase the existence of an entire class of human beings. Trump signed an order declaring that transgender people don’t exist. Only men and women do, as they were at birth–itself an illusion, as any geneticist worth her gonads would tell you: our chromosomes are never as simple as the Georgias and O’Keefes between our legs. And Florida is about to adopt a law that would let government employees dehumanize their transgender colleagues by refusing to refer to them by their preferred pronouns.
It’s like someone refusing to refer to you by your chosen name, or to acknowledge your new nationality or new religion, but worse, because gender identity goes to the core of who you are. Rather than fabricate stereotypes this time, we are simply erasing transgender people from existence. It is a new kind of genocide: bloodless, to be sure, but no less obliterating.
Over what? Because two and half athletes may have had an unfair advantage in one of a billion matches (as if the hundreds of thousands of athletes doping at every level of every sport have no effect on fairness). Because we haven’t yet settled what should be a reasonable debate rather than an inquisition over puberty blockers for adolescents. Because millions of church-going Americans, family men and women, decent Rotarians and chamber members, are perfectly ok with calling fellow-human beings freaks, mentally deranged, deformed, repulsive. None of it is true. None of it is fair. None of it builds goodwill. None of it is beneficial. Yet we happily, intentionally tank the four-way test over pronouns.
People should not impose their gender beliefs on you, I keep hearing. “We have crossed a line here when attempting to force all others to address you with these ridiculous pronouns,” went one ridiculous line I read in a comment on this site–dropped there by the spouse of an elected official. “Live a happy life but forcing others to adhere to your belief goes against the Constitution and the will of the people.” Some people being more people than others, I presume.
But who’s imposing on whom? How does it injure you to refer to me by a different pronoun anymore than it would to refer to me by the name I now bear, which is not the name of my birth? It would not. There’s no difference. The imposition is yours when you refuse to respect who I am, when you refuse to respect an entire mass of people who prefer one lousy pronoun over another.
I’m not dismissing your beliefs. But are you so theologically convinced that calling a colleague by their preferred pronoun rather than by what you presume their genitals command you to use would somehow violate Christian tenets you inherited from a Christ who washed Mary Magdalen’s feet? Of course you don’t look that far because you’ve entrapped yourself in an old habit from which you’ll emerge some years from now, ashamed. It is the habit of faith as a shield, an excuse, an absolution to inflict indignities. It has always been so with regimes from the Antebellum South to the Taliban to Trump, those regimes willing to pervert religion in the service of cruelty.
No. It’s not your faith you’re exercising. No faith is that uncharitable. You want the freedom to slur those you degrade, fully aware that for those on the receiving end of your self-righteous obstinacy, the effect of calling them by the wrong pronoun is N-wording them by dog whistle. And you want that written in laws more hateful than Plessy: separate, unequal, non-existent.
You might delude yourself into thinking this is a matter of personal freedom even as you deny others theirs. All you’re doing is clothing your bigotry in the same rationales that dehumanized all these other groups in our history to reassert your power, your definition of a human being, your means of control. All you’re doing is proclaiming that the pledge of allegiance you recite at the drop of a hat, that liberty for all, is your preferred blasphemy.
Pierre Tristam is the editor of FlaglerLive. A version of this piece airs on WNZF.
R.S. says
Right on target! What differences does it make to me or my well-being whether you call yourself male, female, or the purple person from Pluto–as long as you live peacefully with me, take your trash out on time, give me a smile or a ‘Hello’ now and then, and pay taxes so as to share your fortune with all who are less fortunate than you and for the common weal.
NANCY SKADDEN says
Bravo, Pierre.
I feel helpless in these times. We are speeding backwards. I vote. I support causes that encourage understanding. I write to Congress members. What else can we do?
And I feel as if the 1930’s are happening here.
Help!
Purveyor of Truth says
A few observations about your hyperbole.
I wonder Mr. Tristam, when you name call people as “jar heads” or question their intelligence, are you asserting that you’re intellect is superior than theirs?
Does Trump’s order really declare transgender people don’t exist or does it relieve the rest of society from being compelled or browbeat to pretend a man is a woman or vice versa?
Why discount the effects that men intruding into women’s sports has had by diminishing it as “two and a half atheletes may of had an unfair advantage”?
It doesn’t ring like a thoughtful comment, especially from one who refers to others as jarheads.
And lastly today, I wonder when you decided to be so OpEd on some of these issues? Certainly you have not been cutting edge, if so you would have been leading the charge years ago. It has more the appearance of a follower taking cues from his idols elsewhere.
I suspect you’re just trying to be our local virtue signaling provacatuer, but sometimes it comes of as amateurish. I’ve seen you do better.
R.S. says
P of T, how about reclassifying sports events to make them unisex? Weight classes or height classes or whatever classes are more likely to make even competitors, no? Note that jarheads are soldiers; look it up. It implies nothing about their intelligence; it implies everything about their training to follow orders without too much thinking. And of course if your identity may not be verbally referred to, you cease to exist [duh]. Oh, an amateur–from ‘amare’ [to love]–is one who loves what s/he does; I’d consider it a compliment if you were to call me that. Working for the love of what one does is not working for every dime I can extract from someone. ;-)
Pierre Tristam says
Thanks R.S. for clarifying to the purveyor who—gasp—shares my initials where the term comes from. I first learned of it in Anthony Swofford’s excellent memoir of his days as a Marine in the first Gulf War, where he wrote of himself and fellow-Marines as jarheads. Maybe the purveyor heard of the book. It’s called “Jarheads.” Though he strikes me as not thrilled by people who quote sources and document claims. Must think it gay. Anyway, like he said. He’s seen better.
Purveyor of Truth says
Pretending to use the term jarhead as a compliment rather than the pejorative slur it seems it was intended, is a sad dodge when called out for hypocritical name calling.
Tadpole says
These are the United States of America. We are united as a nation, not as states. You must respect the presidency of the United States. Seems like Flagler live, and their comments do not respect the presidency of the United States, which I find appalling.
JimboXYZ says
Genocide ? A bit of an over reach. I certainly hope that everyone finds some sanity & clarity of purpose in their lifetime. We are human beings, some genetically more gifted than others, others may have to work harder to get the same results for their self actualization, if they ever accomplish to be noteworthy. I face have faced the same throughout an entire lifetime as a hetero, white male. I don’t expect appreciation, gratitude, an award. Some things in this life you do for yourself and a lot of it is routine that anyone that is functional human being can do. Listing pronouns and expecting someone to debate the terminology that is fabricated by mankind, wasted energy really. There are days I wish we all were like dogs or animals in that regard. communicating on such a basic level that having to explain the concepts is really unnecessary. Just an observation of a lifetime, same underlying issues, just a new buzz phrase for a rebadge to define it. Entire professions & industries established & are generally grounded & agreed by a consensus of society as facts. The last thing anyone does is wake up in the AM to face the day to become a hostage to the bleeping pronoun narcissists. That’s a burden nobody wants. Tell me your name, that’s what I’ll call you, zero pronouns to offend, be hurt by. That’s my social contract, the ground rules for dealing with me. Don’t want to play by those rules, fine by me, there are 8 billion plus more on planet Earth that have that same option. Life’s too short to be manipulated on a gender identity confusion debate.
Nancy N. says
We change what name we address people by many times over the course of our lives. Someone we address as Mrs/Ms/Dr gets married and gets a new last name. A kid who wants to stop using Timmy and wants to be Timothy. A kid who hates their name and demands to go by their middle name or another selected name. “Mom” suddenly becomes “Nana” when you have a kid. And on and on. You stumble a few times, it feels weird, you forget…and then after a bit it just feels like it’s always been that way. A gender name change is no different. There’s no reason to make a big deal out of it. Unless you’re a bigot of course.
jt says
Silly- as a high school student in the mid-80s, those fellow students going into the Marines referred to themselves as jarheads- UH-Rah. They were fearless and could conquer anything in their readiness for service. One in particular, would pass a cup around and vow as a jarhead to drink whatever was put into it. So, dip spittal, spit, chewed food, spit out drinks, and whatever gross, vile thing could be put into the drink would be. That man would drink it every time & never threw it up! UH-Rah- Semper Fi, all the way! Once they were in basic, the number of reflective letters sent out was shocking. The wake-up to what might become and confessions of love and connection to those at home were hard to process. Jarheads—real—
Deborah Coffey says
@ Purveyor of Truth????? A reminder….
First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.
—Martin Niemöller
Pierre Tristam says
Not only does the purveyor of dogmas want to impose only his/her/its idea of gender—there are only men and women—but he/she/they now wants to impose only his/her/its interpretation of a word on my text. So it can only be a slur or a compliment. Nothing else. No room for irony, for example, let alone humor, neither of which the dogmatic and Manichaeans grasp anyway. At least it fits her/his/its imperious world view, even making the point of the column. There is more to life, words and gender than black and white, starting with rainbows. How bleakly sad the purveying alternative.
Al says
More proof that trans identity is a mental disease. I don’t care if you identify as a peanut just don’t expect me to play your game. Where was your mother when you were trying on her panties, did she praise you for not being a boy? Funny how the author had to bring in every group he could think of so that there would be power in numbers rather than making the point about trans stupidity.
You want to be different then be different. Why do you need to be part of what you don’t want to belong to, normal society. Your group got their attention that it craves now go away. In the name of Foghorn the rooster go away son you annoy me.
Laurel says
The only problem I have with the pronouns they/them is grammatical. Referring to a single person as “they/them” seems absurd, unless, of course, they/them is a multiple personality!
Honestly, I really don’t care. I know that people are born somewhere on a spectrum, and they should be who they are and not what a restrictive, dictatorship declares what they should be, against their own feelings, as long as they are not hurting anyone, animal or child. I have no problem with trans, effeminate, butchy, or whatever. The fact that our government feels the need to make male and female the only recognized genders shows that we have, absolutely, the dumbest government this country has ever had. A waste of our time, energy and taxes, not to mention a constant repeal of our freedoms. It’s just another in a long list of distractions from the antics they are up to.
In my opinion, Nancy N. had a very good response.
I have two questions for Purveyor of Truth (that handle alone is interesting):
1.) Why do men have nipples?
2.) Which bathroom should a hermaphrodite use?
Actually, I’ve asked these questions few times here, with no answer yet. Anyone, feel free to answer. Just don’t make it stupid answers, make it scientific answers. Should be interesting. I’ll wait again.
Skibum says
Thanks, Deborah… while reading the article and comments, yours was exactly what I was remembering and was going to write until I saw that you had already made that very important observation. The end game for the buffoon in the WH is not just to make it more difficult for trans people to live their lives, nor just for LGBT people, nor just for minorities, nor just for immigrants from those “shithole countries” he despises so much. If anyone is delusional enough to think he will stop if he is successful in his efforts against specific, targeted segments of our society, they are going to be shocked when he then comes for THEM! This despicable man cares not about the wellbeing of anyone else. If he could grab the last $100 that a dying grandmother held tightly in her grasp as she fell dead on the ground, he would! Unless you are very wealthy and have something he either wants or is envious enough of you, you have absolutely no value or worth to him, and would be the next in line as worthless scum to disappear from the face of the earth under his sharpie pen stroke until the only ones left, if he has his way, are other very wealthy people who bow down to him and kiss his toes. For anyone who does not understand that, they are fools!
Pierre Tristam says
Comments like this make me wish there was a way to transition out of humanity. Like, into a cedar tree on a nice Mediterranean slope.
Ed P says
“Over the years I have changed my nationality, my name and my religion.”
Initially, I jumped to the thought, why or how could anyone be that malleable ?
Then I realized, it’s none of my business. Why should I have any right to question the motive? You should be free to live your life as anyone you wish.
But my acceptance was because each change still fit a stereotype that I accepted. This was an Aha moment.
Would I have arrived at this conclusion if you threw in a transgender twist as well?
Pierre you are correct. This exercise was a lesson I should have learned long ago.
A sincere thanks
Sherry says
Thank you Pierre, Nancy N., Deborah, Laurel and Skibum! You have all made such excellent points, I can’t think of a much more to say except “Right On”! AND, too bad some of the Maga Cult Members are so busy trying to defend their “Lord and Master trump” that they absolutely refuse to even “consider” you open minded point of view. ALL they care about is shutting you down in any way they can. . . scientific studies be damned! For example:
While the exact causes of gender dysphoria are complex and likely involve a combination of factors, research suggests a biological component, including potential influences of hormones, genes, and brain structure, during prenatal development.
Here’s a more detailed explanation:
Hormonal Influences:
Some studies suggest that atypical prenatal exposure to hormones, such as in individuals with congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH), may be associated with an increased prevalence of gender dysphoria.
Genetic Factors:
Twin studies indicate a genetic component to gender dysphoria, with heritability estimates suggesting a significant role of genes. Research has also identified variations in genes involved in sex hormone signaling that are overrepresented in transgender individuals.
Brain Structure and Function:
Neuroimaging studies reveal that brain regions in transgender individuals may be more similar to those of cisgender people of their preferred gender, rather than their assigned sex at birth.
Interplay of Factors:
Gender identity and gender dysphoria are likely the result of a complex interplay of biological, environmental, and cultural factors.
Other Potential Factors:
Some research suggests that exposure to certain substances like phthalates during pregnancy could potentially disrupt normal hormone development and increase the risk of gender dysphoria.
Sherry says
@tadpole. . . While I certainly respect the “office” of the President of the US, I most certainly DO NOT respect the “Convicted Felon and Adjudicated Sexual Assaulter” who currently occupies that office! Canadians do not, Europeans do not. Why would anyone?
Atwp says
Tristan the 3rd and 4th paragraph are right on. From my understanding Jews and African Americans were perhaps the most mistreated people of all times. I know other people were and are being mistreated. I believe my people were the brunt of mistreatment. Look who did most of the damage and murders to my people. By the Grace of God, my people survived the hellish, demonic satanic treatment. We survived and will continue to survive. Thank God the other group of people will die. They murdered, raped, denied, tortured, and neglected my people. Thank God they die too.
Atwp says
A lot of people speak against Transgender People, but will have sex with them behind closed doors. Human nature.
Samuel L. Bronkowitz says
Every accusation is a confession. How long have you been thinking about transitioning, Al? It makes me sad that you hate yourself so much over your sexuality that you’d be willing to throw others like you under the bus.
Just say'n says
It is truly amazing how this subject is so front and center in so many people’s minds but I must say it’s interesting. It is kinda funny how some folks are all to happy to get all worked up over a very small population and the need to accommodate them but Half of America can be totally dismissed by the other party as being ignorant or uncaring.I still have not seen one single father,mother,grandfather or grandmother holding there daughters or granddaughter hand at a school meeting and say”Yes I have no problem with my daughter in a shower with a boy “adults feel uncomfortable using the other gender restroom how do you think kids feel being forced to?Afraid to speak out because they will be ridiculed and ostracized by kids and parents alike.
Kola says
Genocide is what happened to the Jews in World War II. It occurred to ethnicity groups.
“Male and female God created them.” Yes I know, you will say there is no God. If transgenders are an Ethnicity, where is the historical evidence? Please keep writing this stuff, it will help in the next election.
BillC says
“NCAA President Charlie Baker testified in December 2024 that he knows of fewer than ten transgender college student-athletes among 510,000 athletes total.”
Mountain Man says
I wouldn’t be knocking Mike Waltz for anything he is falsely accused of when you write a column like this. Back to the topic, transgender people want attention. Why don’t all the transgender people, if you want to call them that, take all the money that the previous administration was giving them and buy an island somewhere and move all of them to the island where they can be with each other and stay out of the news.
Land of no turn signals says says
Male ,female that’s it be what you want but I don’t want to guess what you want to be called.
R.S. says
Kola, you need to read your bible: genocide happened time and time again in the era of the Old Testament. Netanyahu invoked one such recurrent one when he began the war in Gaza with the worlds, “Remember the children of Amalek, what they have done to you , , , ,” and biblically there follows the genocide of the Amalekites–men, women, and children by command of the deity. Would you be able to tell an Amalekite from an Israelite? Remember the sacking of Jericho? How many survived those walls that tumbled down? What was their ethnicity? So, yes, if you single out any group to silence it, you are killing that group–ethnic or otherwise.
Whathehck? says
Mountain man,
If you think that people who are not like you or do not think like you should be buying an island there would be none left to go on vacation without mixing with undesirables. What islands would you suggest for each group of blacks, immigrants, citizens from s..hole countries, Democrats, people who do not believe in your exact religion like Jews and Muslims, LGBTQ+ people, transsexual humans, Hispanics etc…….. Wow! That’s a lot of islands not available to the good white Christians.
Maybe you are suggesting that trans should buy Greenland? What a great idea!
You remind me of a very stable genius’s quote: “This is an island surrounded by water. Big water.”
You are a great joker. Hahaha!
The dude says
“Shower with a boy”
Between this and the laughably, demonstrably false assertion that classrooms put out kitty litter pans for students who identify as cats… one could reasonably assume MAGA is kinda weird and twisted.
But then you have to stop and consider the fact that they walked around with cups of simulated semen from the vice president, and taped maxipads to their ears last year.
And these sickos hate on a super super small slice of the population who just want to live their lives in peace.
Hell, right now as I type this, you will find more stories, in current events, about MAGA pedos and sickos than you will about these imaginary issues you MAGA fantasize about with the trans folk.
JC says
Only people I know who care to talk about Transgender People are mostly older, fat, white people who wear MAGA hats. I can go into a restaurant and they won’t shut up talking about Transgender or Gay people. I find out that some of them are also NIMBY types who live in a bubble.
Nosympathyhere says
Genocide? Really?
That’s the whole problem with these people. They use hyperbole to gain attention and insist everyone else pay attention to them and force others to change their language and customs. This is why this is a fad with prepubescent adolescents! They are in need of attention, want to stand out amongst their peers, want to be “cool.”
Over 90% of Americans are opposed to the trans men in women’s sports.
Common Sense says
I think you all are delusional no matter your opinion. Forget about the Presidency , states , and the local government in between. Look closer , like in your own homes. The human species is devolving. Our own intelligence deceives us as it has lost the ability to be objective and reason with clarity. All lines have been blurred. All facets of our lives have become perverted by our own inventions and from within those corrupted inventions. Meant to make our lives easier, faster, and give us a false sense of being content. Even in the rare to be found nuclear whole homes you find facades because behind that front is a family walking around with their faces connected to their phones. Connected to what ever addiction that makes them increasingly delusional. Completely disconnected from one another. If you wish there to be some return of equilibrium in this world i urge you to look within your own.
DaleL says
Pierre, I am reminded of a line in the movie Princess Bride by Inigo Montoya. “You Keep Using That Word, I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means.” In your case is is “Genocide”.
1. The systematic and widespread extermination or attempted extermination of a national, racial, religious, or ethnic group.
2. The systematic killing of a racial or cultural group.
3. The systematic killing of substantial numbers of people on the basis of ethnicity, religion, political opinion, social status, or other particularity.
Trump and his minions are actively attempting to suppress, ignore, and diminish transgender people. However, that is a far from genocide.