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MAGA Has Taylor Swift’s Number

February 11, 2024 | FlaglerLive | 15 Comments

The conspirator. (Ronald Woan)

By Diane Roberts

Taylor Swift hates America.

The evidence:

  1. She stays out too late, got nothing in her brain and goes on too many dates.
  2. She attacks our rugged individualism by funding food banks for no ’count poor people.



  3. She likes the Gay.
  4. She is unmarried. These “single and happy” types undermine our whole patriarchy — and where would we be without the patriarchy?
  5. She wants girls to have abortions. When our excellent Supreme Court threw out the Roe baby-killing thing, she re-twixxted a screed by Michelle Obama (who’s probably a man, anyway) and said, “I’m pro-choice, and I just can’t believe this is happening.”

She needs to get married.

  1. She has cats. (See unmarried above). Three cats named Benjamin, Olivia, and Meredith.

Congressman Matt Gaetz, who, I think you’ll agree is an expert on females, reminds us pro-choice cat ladies are “over-educated, under-loved” fat chicks who eat microwave dinners alone.




OK, she’s not fat, but you get the point.

  1. She endorsed Joe Biden in 2020.
  2. She told her fans they should register to vote.

Which they did, clearly helping to steal the election.

‘Not organic’

Taylor Swift practices mind control. Or worse.

God-fearing Georgia political operative Kandiss Taylor (no relation!) says she uses “witchcraft” on Our Youth: “Satan wants to use her now to elect Joe back into the White House to destroy what’s left of America.”

You know how she’s going to help destroy what’s left of America?

By corrupting the NFL.

She shows up at Kansas City games, decked out in Chiefs gear with an “87″ on it, hugging Travis Kelce’s mother for no good reason except maybe a score.

florida phoenixBlue-pill America thinks she’s actually dating Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce.

Please. This is such an obvious fake.

Stephen Miller, Pres. Donald Trump’s Special Envoy to the Undead, says the Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce couple thing “is not organic.”

Fox News’ Jesse Watters also smells a rat. Like, how did some girl with a guitar and 279.4 million followers on Instagram suddenly “blow up like this?”

You have to admit it’s weird how she became instantly famous after only 16 years of chart-topping albums.




Watters has the answer: In 2020, “the Pentagon psychological operations unit floated turning Taylor Swift into an asset during a NATO meeting.”

Now it all makes sense.

Now we see what the Deep State is really up to.

The libs like to say Swift and her so-called “boyfriend” is “the stuff of high-school heterosexual fantasy.”

Give me a break. They’re White House operatives.

Not fooled

Floridian, Trump super-fan, and popular white supremacist Laura Loomer is not fooled, avowing that the Biden people “are going to use Taylor Swift as the poster child for their pro-abortion Get Out the Vote Campaign.”

Podcaster Mike Crispi isn’t fooled, either: “The NFL is totally RIGGED for the Kansas City Chiefs, Taylor Swift, Mr. Pfizer (Travis Kelce). All to spread DEMOCRAT PROPAGANDA.”

The Baltimore Ravens were obviously in on the conspiracy, making sure they lost so the Chiefs would unexpectedly get to the Super Bowl for the fourth time in the last five years.




You know what’s going to happen at the Super Bowl? Crispi does: “Swift comes out at the halftime show and ‘endorses’ Joe Biden with Kelce at midfield.”

Then her eyes turn into red lasers and we see that she is, in fact, the Anti-Christ.

OAN’s Alison Steinberg is not fooled. Instead of focusing on Jesus like they’re supposed to, American kids “become obsessed with some grown man who gets paid millions of dollars every year to throw a ball around while promoting poison death shots and child slave labor through various brand deals and endorsements.”

Kelce’s a fifth columnist, a sleeper agent of doom, planted in pro-football to bring America down.

The guy got a COVID vaccination and actually bragged about it. He did a Pfizer commercial!

Worse, he did a Bud Light commercial.

Bud Light is woke LGBTQ beer. If a dude drinks too much of it, he’ll start wearing dresses.

Take a knee

Even more totally worse, he once took a knee on the sideline during Our National Anthem.

All those Marxist NFL fans go, “Oh, but Kelce is QB Patrick Mahomes’ favorite receiver. He’s got 53 touchdowns! He’s a winner!”

Yeah, but our freedoms matter almost as much as football, and Mahomes is also a BLM Soros bot America hater who helped pay for the Chiefs’ stadium to be open as a polling place on election day 2020.

If that’s not an attack on our values, I don’t know what it is.




Football used to be a studly sport, but it’s been taken over by leftists and girly-fied.

The White House has confiscated Kelce’s Man Card, and the Jezebel Swift has him by the jelly beans.

MAGA ’Merka must find a way to fight back against the Swift-Kelce psyops before it’s too late.

Maybe give Our Youth a better, sexier, cooler role model. Scott Greer, former Daily Caller columnist and proud white male has a suggestion: Lauren Boebert.

This is genius: Boebert became a mom at 17, loves guns, and looks hot in glasses.

Young girls will go wild!

MAGA influencers

And if that doesn’t work, well, as Trump-fave and super-righty broadcaster Jack Posobiec reminds us, MAGA ’Merka can provide its own celebrities: “We don’t have Taylor Swift on our side, but you know who we have? We have Kid Rock. We have Ted Nugent. We have influencers. We have all these people … .”

All right, here’s the play: We put on a concert at the same time as the Super Bowl. Kid Rock wastes a couple cases of Bud Light with an AR-15, then pisses on syringe full of COVID vaccine as back-up dancers Roseanne Barr, Scott Baio, and Jon Voight shake it.

Then headliners Jason Aldean and Ted Nugent come out and perform a duet about trucks, lynching, and sex with underage girls.

Real Americans will love every minute.

Hell, football is only a game.

diane roberts columnist Diane Roberts is an 8th-generation Floridian, born and bred in Tallahassee. Educated at Florida State University and Oxford University in England, she has been writing for newspapers since 1983, when she began producing columns on the legislature for the Florida Flambeau. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, the Times of London, the Guardian, the Washington Post, the Oxford American, and Flamingo. She has been a member of the Editorial Board of the St. Petersburg Times–back when that was the Tampa Bay Times’s name–and a long-time columnist for the paper in both its iterations. She was a commentator on NPR for 22 years and continues to contribute radio essays and opinion pieces to the BBC. Roberts is also the author of four books.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Toto says

    February 11, 2024 at 4:32 pm

    Diane Roberts, queen of sarcasm!! How to take a pitiful situation and make us smile! God only knows how much we need humor in this day and age! Spot on Ms Roberts! Thank you!

  2. Wow says

    February 11, 2024 at 7:16 pm

    These days it’s hard to tell sarcasm from truth. The MAGAs have completely lost their marbles. Too bad they are also dangerous.

  3. Wallingford says

    February 11, 2024 at 8:53 pm

    MAGA Republicans are into exclusion while Taylor is into inclusion.These brainwashed idiots no longer have the brains they were born with. They believe citizen Trump when he tells them that he is more popular than Ta-Ta; that’s laughable. All they can spew is hateful rhetoric. A person as kind as Taylor scares them because they would like to be like her but sold their souls to Trump

  4. Kat says

    February 11, 2024 at 9:12 pm

    Agree 100%!

  5. Sherry says

    February 12, 2024 at 1:10 am

    Spot On Toto!

  6. Greg says

    February 12, 2024 at 5:15 am

    If Taylor gets involved in politics, she’s a fool. No matter her choose, she will piss of millions on people. Stay of of politics is the best choice.

  7. DaleL says

    February 12, 2024 at 7:10 am

    Diane Roberts, great piece. Except, football is BIG business. Still a great piece. :-)

  8. Steve says

    February 12, 2024 at 8:18 am

    Loved it. Alot to be sarcastic about these days

  9. John says

    February 12, 2024 at 8:44 am

    Please leave Taylor alone. Talk about more important things like Donald Trump wanting to turn our country into a dictatorship if he is re-elected and the people of this country will lose all their rights.

  10. melly says

    February 12, 2024 at 9:01 am

    I don’t know about Ms Roberts slinging sarcasm, but Twitter is ablaze with this same bunch of sentiments. It’s kind of weird, almost like it was scripted. Oh, but I guess that would make me a conspiracy theorist to say that?

    EYEROLL….whatever! Congratulations KC Chiefs, the game was outstanding, and for once, the refs didn’t ruin it :-)

  11. Unapologetic Swiftie says

    February 12, 2024 at 9:45 am

    What an absolutely fun read!! I had a blast with this and will pass it on!!

  12. William Moya says

    February 12, 2024 at 12:50 pm

    Thank you for giving me a glimpse into the Taylor phenomenon, he MAGAs don’t like her, the Dems deserve her, and alas, yes Real Americans, will love every minute, they all deserve each other, think about that when voting this year.

  13. No Greg says

    February 12, 2024 at 4:29 pm

    Well….let’s see here. She endorsed Biden in 2020. Now, let’s look at how it ruined her a few years later.

    She had the best selling concert tour in history, her Taylor’s versions are winning awards and breaking records, she was named Time person of the year, and she got herself a BLM supporting, pro-LGBTQ, boyfriend, in Mr. Pfizer. Endorsing Biden in 2020 totally ruined her…

    You sound like an angry white guy trying to tell a woman what to do…totally tracks for today’s Republican Party.

  14. TR says

    February 13, 2024 at 6:57 am

    Your comment is your opinion ans everyone has one. The other thing about opinions is that they are not right or wrong, they are what someone thinks.

  15. endangered species says

    February 13, 2024 at 12:52 pm

    anything to distract from the fact their nominee has been charged with 90 plus felonies. taylor encouraged people to vote which is against repubicons strategy to deny votes, create barries to vote, eliminate voting rights, discourage voting of specific groups, and spew mass amounts of misinformation to support their narrative. never underestimate the stupidity of humans especially in groups.

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