“If only it were as easy to banish hunger by rubbing my belly,” the 28-year-old man might have said, as Diogenes, antiquity’s most famous public masturbator, did.
This latest Diogenes (*) was caught in the act a little after midnight this morning by the front door at Taco Bell near Culver’s on State Road 100 in Palm Coast.
His arrest lengthens a streak of streakers and strokers that began less than a month ago with the arrest of a 33-year-old man at Chick-fil-A–also on State Road 100–for allegedly exposing his penis enwrapped in a speed-activated self-abusing contraption to a drive-thru attendant who was either 14 or 15. He now faces a second-degree felony.
That was followed barely more than a week ago with the arrest of a devotee of Ellianos Coffee on State Road 100 for allegedly using a $20 bill in place of palm or contraption for a little Jackson action on his illegally exposed tender. He is accused of using the hard currency in full view of one of the coffee shop’s drive-thru window attendants. The attendant was an adult. But since the man had been convicted of a similarly solo offense stemming from an incident in the Target shopping center parking lot in 2023, he, too, now faces a felony charge.
This morning’s Diogenes was spotted by a witness who was inside Taco Bell, walking toward the bathroom when, passing by the window, he saw the 28-year-old “jerking it” with one hand while holding and looking at a phone in his left hand. The right hand was making one of the most universally known movements known to man, boys, simians and not a few envious females since the beginnings of hominid time. In this case, it was almost 1 a.m. The witness called the cops.
When a Flagler County Sheriff’s deputy arrived, he observed the man “hunched over by the front door with a phone in his left hand and his penis in his right hand,” the deputy reported in the man’s arrest report. “As I initiated my vehicle’s spotlight onto the male, I could visually see his exposed sexual organs in his right hand.”
The moment Diogenes noticed him, he immediately pulled up his pants–actually, three pairs of shorts–and lowered his sweatshirt. He did not light a cigarette. The two men spoke. Diogenes told the cop–Joshua Barrett, who made news in late February for his part in de-escalating what could have been a deadly situation for a man with a replica gun–that he had huddled up to the Taco Bell door merely to use the restaurant’s WiFi because the Starbucks WiFi nearby was no longer working.
Asked why his pants were down when the deputy pulled up, the man said he was cleaning himself. “I had stuff on my balls and I was itchy,” he said. The deputy noted that Diogenes had been standing in a public area, in full view of vehicles, pedestrians, traffic and employees of Taco Bell, who told the deputy that there was no surveillance video footage of the crunchwrap.
The man was charged with a first-offense count of exposure of sexual organs, a misdemeanor that nevertheless drew a surprisingly harsh $5,000 bond from County Judge Andrea Totten at his first-appearance hearing this morning. (The original Diogenes is the father of cynicism. He would not have approved.) He remains at the county jail, which lists his home address as a residence in Port St. Lucie.
(*) Except in some circumstances, FlaglerLive does not generally identify individuals accused of misdemeanors.
Using Common Sense says
What is going on in this City???
JimboXYZ says
Growth ? The Vision of 2050. We all knew it was going to get worse for the criminals & miscreants that were already here, growing it bigger really hasn’t made the quality of life better.
Laurel says
It always baffles me that none of these guys stop and think “What the hell am I doing?”
BobAnonanon says
Either they were too intellectually compromised to figure out they could have used a public restroom, or their psyches are damaged. Those are the characterizing symptoms of Florida Man syndrome. It’s a random distribution over population density. But randomness is lumpy, not homogeneous. That means, living in Florida, you’re just going to have to lump it.
Laurel says
“Florida man” is overwhelmingly someone from somewhere else. Fact.
Atwp says
What is going on with these men. If I remember correctly we still have bathrooms. Where do these men live? Am sure they have bathrooms at their place of residence. Sad situation is getting worse.
Shark says
It just goes to show you that Palm Coast has a lot of jerk offs !!!!!
Brian says
When the deputy arrived he was still going at it. I wish I had that kind of stamina…..
Skibum says
Whackers to the left of me, rapists to the right, so many pervs openly abusing themselves and others these days! While many of these sex abusers are caught and held accountable by the justice systems we have in place, our nation’s #1 sex abuser, a self-proclaimed “victim”, sits in the WH in charge of our federal government and military forces… completely unrepentant despite being formally adjudicated liable for sexually abusing a woman in a public place as well as defaming her afterward. He has not paid her one solitary penny of the nearly $90 million dollars in legal judgements ordered by the courts.
And STILL, idiotic people come to the abuser’s defense time and time again. It is as if all of this despicable man’s very public history of criminal behavior, fraud schemes, con jobs, unconstitutional as well as illegal actions and incomprehensible jabs and slights against the disabled and gold star military families do not matter one iota to the maga mush brains who adore and worship the most vile and corrupt type of individual imaginable!
But yeah… the maga loving un-christian nationalists in our society who love to tout their own warped version of religiosity fervor will condemn the weenie whacking self-abusers while at the same time giving a HUGE pass to an actual rapist who continues to hide the Epstein Files from the public, who completely dismisses all of the many underage sex traffic victims Epstein and his wealthy accomplices abused over and over again. Because he would rather protect other sex perverts who have the same proclivity as himself rather than try to help the actual victims of sex abuse… because that is who he is.
Wow, what a man to be worshiped and supported, huh??? I’m sure the maga faithful will try to vilify me for making this article about you know who in the WH, but it takes one sex fiend to know (and help) another. And the maga mush brains are so lost and so deluded by power that they willingly let a clownish sex abusing fraudster and con man be their hero. Contemptable!
JimboXYZ says
Reminds me too much of Miami, FL. A decade ago I go into the bathroom at a Winn Dixie grocery store. The evidence in that men’s room was the local Miami New Times that has advertisements for 24/7 Strip clubs & escort services. Dudes were rubbing one out in the stalls there. Was pretty disgusting too learn of that, I reported what I saw to management. I could envision a grocery store where a family would be shopping & someone’s child walking into that bathroom while the miscreant loser was doing that in there. Even more disgusting is they would be doing that & them going out to finish their grocery shopping with the rest of us. That was 2014-2015-ish SW Miami-Kendall area.
Laurel says
I was walking along the shoreline in Boca, when I saw a man, way up behind all the people sunning on he beach, having at it. I went to the gatehouse and had the attendant call the police. Turns out, the man was well known. That area was his hang out.
I should have yelled out, at the top of my lungs, “LOOK!” and pointed at him. He’d would have had one hell of a time putting it away (it was impressive!) with a batch of beach goers turning to stare at him!
Crazy people.
Bob says
Pervert and sickos among us.
Marilyn says
The exposure crimes are disgusting, but what I find amusing is the reporter’s coverage. In my hometown paper, the event would have been handled by calling it indecent exposure, and the rest would be left to the reader’s imagination. Around here, the reporters seem to be a bit titillated by the event, not only describing the scene vividly, but also searching their vast sexual lexicon for euphemisms to bring evocative images to mind….”Fast food solo fetish on his hands, a little Jackson action, using “hard” currency, making one of the world’s most universally known movements to man, boys, simians, and not a few envious females.” (BTW, being female, I’m not sure how to take that last one). Anyway, thanks for the laughs. I was trying to figure out who writes this stuff, but I guess no one’s claiming it. LOL
FlaglerLive says
Thank you for the one-handed compliment. The author is, alas, this site’s editor.
JC says
Pierre TrollStain is his name.
Sherry says
@jc. . . only the worst of the worst and the lowest of the low “Spit in the Eye” of their “host”! Despicable!
Laurel says
Zing!
I still think four or five cops tackling an inflatable penis is hilarious! Gotta laugh now and then.