On WNZF’s annual year in review show with local media in January host David Ayres asked me if I liked Palm Coast. I replied with a mix of sarcasm and sourness. It was more of a show-offy attempt to sound clever than an honest reflection of how I felt. After all Cheryl and I had just returned from Arizona days earlier, and we couldn’t have been happier to be back in DeSantistan. When we veered off at the State Road 100 exit to make it back to our P Section, this Yonkers of Palm Coast, it truly felt like we were home in the little house on the prairie sense of the term.
I never thought it would come to this. If you had told me at any point in the 1970s, 80s or 90s that I would end up in this town, I’d have first challenged you to find this town on any map in the universe, then after ITT’s cookie-cut suburbs were incorporated, and before Crumbl and KB Homes gave us a new appreciation for the cookie cut, I’d have laughed in your face.
I did laugh in my Aunt Marianne’s face when I first visited Palm Coast in June 1995 on my way to a job interview in Lakeland. She suggested I didn’t have to go to Polk County. I could settle right there and then. Little did she know that five years after my Polk exile, which I survived unmolested only because Grady Judd was only undersheriff at the time, that’s exactly what we did.
By the way, my Aunt lived at 6 Cooper Court, right by the Palm Harbor golf course. To her it was a pasture of heaven (she is ardently Catholic). To me it seemed like Grand Central. Americans are obsessed with privacy, but they don’t seem to mind when a clump of over-the-hill aliens wielding a stick at an invisible ball mutter and hobble through their backyard every five minutes (as long as they’re white and dress like Doc Severinsen).
So we settled in the Woodlands, a cozy rental house that butted up right against a thin buffer of scrub pines to shield us from what is today known in more romantic circles as Waste Water Treatment Number One. There our son was born and there we shepherded our daughter through her middle school years as I commuted daily to Sodom, where the News-Journal then still existed as an actual newspaper. I-95’s near-death simulator aside, it was a pleasure to drive home to Palm Coast every day, but I didn’t know it just then.
That became more real when, with our Realtor prince Matthew Wilson parting the seas of the housing crash for us, we bought our just-built palatial P Section house in 2008 for a song we sang the underwater seller. We needed the space more for a 3,000-book library than for our children, who were time-limited squatters anyway. I don’t know where else in this country I could get a 3,000 square foot home for less than the monthly price of my Obamacare premiums.
We’ve lost a roof, a ceiling and a floor and just finished having the outside repainted for the second time, because most Florida homeowners don’t know that buying here is like buying in Beirut. But as in Beirut, rebuilding on half-assed insurance is part of the charm.
Incidentally, I doubt we could have secured the labor for, let alone the superb quality of, some of these repairs without the occasionally undocumented laborer our deranger in chief wants to disappear. For a time our quarter-acre was a little sanctuary lot, and thanks to the indulgence of our sheriff, remained so. Another reason to like Palm Coast.
It’s no minor detail that a pair of heretics like Cheryl and me could–occasional death threats, defamations and, in Cheryl’s case, the odd character assassination by the people who teach character to our kids–make a life in this red sea and even run a Bolshevik site like FlaglerLive. That’s to our readers’ credit even as many of you have to reach for nitroglycerin pills when reading some of the material here. But you read. You come back. You contribute financially to keep the site going. Appreciation for essential shoeleather reporting aside, my suspicion is that you do so for the same reason we choose to stay here: differences are more interesting than echo chambers. It is possible to have a conversation even in the most polarized times. Anything less is pointless. That too is why I like it here. Practicing journalism in a blue state would bore me to death.
So it’s been. I’m not going to pretend that Palm Coast has anything on the places I’ve lived before. It lacks a soul, it lacks that city feel we crave whenever suburban despair makes you reach for Oxy, our social services are shittier than Havana’s, our suicide rate is higher than the Nordic countries’, congestion is a daily purgatory without atonement and the clear-cutting of our once-noble and life-giving canopy is a pathological sickness (you can build houses without napalming the surroundings). But at least we have Flagler Beach and Bunnell, and in Palm Coast we have City Repertory Theatre and a stand-up comedy bar which, along with a good Thai restaurant, the Brown Dog and a fairly good internet connection, are really all you need.
Maybe it’s age talking. Maybe it’s yesterday’s 10 percent barrel ale. But I can see Marianne’s pasture now. So yes, David, I like Palm Coast, and if I could crossdress without getting lynched here, I might even love it.
Pierre Tristam is the editor of FlaglerLive. A version of this piece airs on WNZF.
Jan says
Delightful, Pierre. Thoroughly enjoyed this. Thank you – for all you do.
Steve says
I liked it too when there were 35000 people. That’s History now.
Keep up the good work Mr. Tristan.
Kat says
I get this.
Skibum says
As is most likely true for most everyone, I have both good and bad things to say for every place I have ever lived. Palm Coast is not Shangri-La, but if you are going to live in Florida there are quite a few worse places to be as far as I am concerned. But man, I sure do miss the mountains and the snow out west!
Concerned says
Your honesty is admirable and refreshing.
Thank you
Geri says
I enjoyed your article and comments about Palm Coast it’s just too bad you felt compelled to add snide political remarks to your review.
"Talkin-bout movin," eh? says
Palm Coast isn’t Shangri-la, it just has an old condo development that’s named Shangri-la. Now directly across (the ever more congested) Palm Coast parkway from a busy Wawa.
I wonder if anyone there thinks they’re living in Shangri-la?🤔
Brad says
I think it’s a good place if you are rich and don’t need to work and can purchase a home. Otherwise not so great. The politics are all old cons so they only support older rich white folks.
The dude says
It’s a lovely area.
It’s the people that make it a crime ridden shithole.
Justin says
I disagree with almost everything FlaglerLive produces if it’s related to politics. Like the author mentioned though, I do still come to this site often. In reflection I do like living here as well and I appreciate the reporting on whats going on here. Whether I agree with the perspective or not.
JOSEPH HEMPFLING says
Having lived in Palm Coast and relocated to Waxhaw, North Carolina and yes there is a place with this name, I feel I am in a position to comment especially since I regularly still read and follow happenings via on-line news like this. As to my reactions
they mainly deal with the seemingly rate of BIG TIME GROWTH and the fact every time they are taking about housing development
the numbers often in the HUNDREDS with little if any mention of what it will do to INFRASTRUCTURE,much less TAXES. Remember it only took one more straw to break the camel’s back and unless there is more evidence of community participation little old Palm Coast is headed down that same road. REMEMBER SO CALLED PROGRESS KILLS ask anyone from other communities that has experienced it. SO in closing just want to wish Palm Coast good luck in keeping THE BEAST now at its door at bay. Some once said to me while living there Palm Coast is a lot like Orlando BEFORE DISNEY . so do some soul searching and ask yourself; IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT????
FlaPharmTech says
Thank you for this, Pierre. Keep it comin’.
Glenn says
Hate it now, too overpopulated. Trying to sell and move back to North Georgia small town. This is not peaceful at all anymore for retirement!
Jake from state farm says
Wonderful article, Pierre. No matter if it’s Flagler County, Palm Coast, FB, or Bunnell—this is home. Most of us are here because we want to be. Change is inevitable. I’ve been here for almost 30 years—not as long as some, but long enough to witness a lot of it.
As you know, I’m always on FL, keeping up with local updates as well as national and global news. While we may lean in opposite directions politically, I appreciate what you share, and I, for one, am glad you’re in Palm Coast. That said, you know my wish.
You mentioned not wanting an echo chamber. To truly avoid that, you need to share articles from the other side as well—ones that expose the flaws and failures on both ends. Not just the “the other side has more warts, so that’s all we’re going to highlight” approach. Corruption exists across the board. Both sides have their fair share of thieves.
Right now, you have an opportunity—especially with the massive wasteful spending that’s being exposed. Our government hands out billions to bureaucrats with little to no oversight or accountability. It’s time to shine a light on that.
Using Common Sense says
Pierre- Just imagine what the financial contributions would be if you left your political musing out of your articles. Yes, we realize that you are not Republican, but can you please try journalism without the political rhetoric? It may “bore you to death”, but it would be much more palatable to the vast majority of your readers. Thanks for all you do, please consider sidelining the bashing of everything Red. By the way, nobody is being lynched so cross-dress all you want. Just stay out of the locker room that says “Women”, please.
PC was OK now it’s meh. says
I’ve been here over 20 years. I liked it when we first bought our house. PC was great for about 10 years. Then it started going downhill fast. Everything going up in cost (taxes, insurance, trash, water bill), so much congestion and not enough alternate routes, awful leadership.
Last night, people were shooting off fireworks. Really? First of all, it’s rude. What if someone was asleep and had to get up early for work? Second of all, the douche-y gov signed three legal days to blow your money away in the sky and last night or a random weekday isn’t one of them. Third, this is a residential neighborhood with many veterans that have PTSD. Do you know how hard it is to calm someone down that experienced war and now hears random booms in what should be their safe space? The riff-raff moved in and surprise, surprise they’re white.
A Concerned Observer says
I’ve lived here just south of 10-years. I must admit that I loved it a little more then than now. However, it sure beats the hell out of Boca Raton hands down (translates roughly as ” Mouse Mouth, or Mouth of the Rat!).
Land of no turn signals says says
I confess, I used to like living in Palm Coast.I moved to a semi-retirement city almost 20 years then way too much construction way to fast with no infrastructure improvements.
Laurel says
A Concerned: Boca’s beaches are faaaaaaaaaaaaaar superior, and if you lived there, you know it.
Laurel says
And maybe Trump will stay out of womens’ dressing rooms at department stores, and teenage girls beauty pageants.
A Concerned Observer says
But Boca Beaches cannot even be seen from A1A for the high-rise condos and corporate hotels, you have to feed a parking meter every couple hours to park in the very limited parking or purchase a Beach Permit for $80.00 (or $102.00 for South Beach Access Only) per year. Boca Beaches are few and far between and much narrower than PC Beaches. Flagler beaches run the length of the county. I’ve seen people peacefully riding horses on FC beaches. Things NOT ALLOWED on Boca Raton Beaches: Smoking, Alcoholic beverages, Styrofoam products and packaging, Drones, Balloons and confetti, Overnight occupancy or camping, Fires, Feeding, harming, or interacting with wildlife and Pets. I’ll take our comparatively sleepy little “Live and Let Live” Palm Coast approach any day, thank you. The pervasive entitled, hurray for me, the hell with everyone else attitude of the affluent in Boca Raton and the far higher cost of just about everything there drove me north. The best view of Boca Raton for me after 23 years was “in the rear view mirror…” Oh, and I left and sold my $167,500 house for over three times what I paid for it 23-years back. It is shown in Zillow now for $837,100. Moving to Palm Coast was a win-win for me and my family.