In the second case of a parent being accused of violence toward his young child in five days in Palm Coast, a 34-year-old K-Section man ended up at the Flagler County jail Sunday afternoon after allegedly grabbing his 13-year-old stepson by the neck and smacking him in the face, because the child had left his lunch clutter on the kitchen table.
It was not Peter Adelstein’s first violent charge: last year he faced an aggravated battery-domestic violence charge after an argument with his 31-year-old common-law wife, who was herself charged with domestic battery in the incident. Both charges were dropped.
The couple have “at least one child in common,” an April 17 police report states. They have been together for four years, sharing a house for three.
Adelstein’s wife was in the Karat Path house when Sunday’s incident unfolded, but she was not the one who called 911: the alleged 13-year-old victim’s 15-year-old sister did. The girl told the dispatcher “that this happens all the time and her mother, Amanda Black, doesn’t do anything about it.”
The boy told a deputy that he was eating lunch at the kitchen table and left trash behind when he was done, prompting Adelstein to tell him to clean up. But Adelstein, according to the boy, also pushed the 13 year old. The boy got up set and told Adelstein, “Don’t touch me.”
“Try me,” Adelstein replied, according to the boy, grabbing him by the neck. The boy then threw a burrito at his stepfather’s face, he said. That’s when Adelstein allegedly struck the boy in the face. The boy had visible red marks on his face and neck, according to the deputy’s report.
Adelstein mostly corroborated the story, telling a deputy that both children are “constantly disrespecting him”—a common refrain in cases involving parents beating up their children. Adelstein noted that after he grabbed the boy by the neck, he turned him around so he’d face him. Black told the deputy that she heard a loud smack, but did not witness the incident. She told the deputy that Adelstein “does not discipline her older children often, but when [Adelstein] does, he has a tendency to be over aggressive with them.”
Adelstein was charged with felony child abuse, a third-degree felony.
Last July, when he also ended up with the felony charge that was dropped four months later, the argument had been between Adelstein and Black. He was supposed to come home with t-shirts. He didn’t. She got upset with him and told him he would not get to eat as a result. When he went to the microwave anyway, Black, according to the arrest report at the time, threw food with a ladle, which he knocked away. She allegedly punched him when, according to her, he’d pushed her after she had gone to spit in the pot of spaghetti to keep him from serving himself from it. They agreed to separate, and she took her children to drop them off at their father in Duval County. Since the deputy could not determine who was the primary aggressor, both were charged.
The Florida Department of Children and Families’ Abuse Reporting Portal is here.
Layla says
Why are these children still in this home? Are you waiting for them to die?
Dave says
Another person not fit to be a parent.
Sherry says
I agree with you completely, Layla!
Trouble is the DCF has had such draconian cuts to their budget under the present horrific regime that there simply aren’t enough funds to “prevent” such abuse. Sadly, however, there are plenty of jail cells to keep abusers locked up. . . but only AFTER someone dies.
nowYOUknow says
When I was young, if I talked back or disrespected my parents, I was spanked, or hit across the butt or smacked (depending on the offense)… Today we have to talk to them like their five year olds – and god forbid if you touch them. You throw a burrito in your parents face, you deserve to get popped.
woody says
I believe ole Peter got to carried away with his actions.But there is nothing wrong with a little foot to ass punishment from time to time.
Katie Semore says
Can you say major dysfunction?
Bc. says
This is why the most of the younger generation are out of control they have no respect if I had thrown food at my father I would not have been Able to eat food for 3month while my jaw was wired up. Sometimes a good ol fashioned ass wipen is needed. No doubt this kid in the future will see the inside halls of the county lockup.
Sherry says
Physical punishment is not the end all be all when it comes to teaching and disciplining children.
Take a second read to absorb the details of the history of this parent’s chronic “abusive” behavior. No reasonable person would expect that dysfunctional behavior to magically end. This man needs extensive therapy. . . away from society. The children need to be kept safely away from him. , , and probably could use some counseling as well. This is how such abusive behavior is passed down from generation to generation. From some of the comments here, it seems that problem is all too common.
Geezer says
Sherry:
Holy crap, there’s people here waxing nostalgic about child abuse
from days gone by.
When you raise a kid up correctly from the onset–they rarely show
a lack of respect. Those who need to beat their kids to teach “respect,”
are so sadly and pathetically mistaken.
These heavy-handed parents are actually teaching fear and terror, not respect.
“Respect” is when you don’t want to anger your parents, out of the
fear of disappointing them–not fear of broken bones and contusions.
These same kids who are beaten, grow up to beat the hell out of their
own children, and then label it as “tough love.” Of course they wax nostalgic,
as they are now child abusers too, and need to validate their awful behavior.
So they give it a stupid oxymoronic name……
Grabbing a child by the neck is ok, and by a step-father with a history
of domestic abuse?
WHAT KIND OF REASONING IS THIS?
Sherry says
I agree completely Geezer. . . there are 3 very disturbing comments here from those who likely have been abused and are abusers themselves. . . how very tragic for our society.
I was “spanked” plenty by both of my parents. They even made special paddles to do the job, or my step father used his belt. Although I was never grabbed by the throat or slapped in the face, I was most certainly abused. Through my own extensive therapy, I learned that the definition of love is not smacking around or “popping” a child. In order NOT to pass down that dysfunction, I made a conscious decision not to have children of my own. It’s only now. . . in my 60’s. . . being well shrunk. . . that I think I would make a good parent. . . too late! So, I’m traveling the world with my wonderful husband, to the delight of my inner child.
I do see the wounds and weep for those lost souls who commented in a positive fashion about physical punishment of children. I also weep and fear for their families. . . and their future generations. . . how very, very tragic and sad!!!
Geezer says
Sherry:
One more thing: abuse comes in another form known as verbal abuse.
There are parents out there who never miss an opportunity to strip a
kid out of his or her self-esteem.
“You’re a good-for-nothing, stupid, a punk, a little fa*, half a f**, fat fu**,
useless, and so forth. Your brother is smarter than you.”
Then there’s the lack of positive reinforcement when the kid does
something good, like a report card with A’s and B’s, or doing an unexpected
chore, or good deed without prompting.
So many kids never hear the occasional “I love you.”
Now you got a kid looking for validation and recognition, and may be looking
to release his frustrations on another child, and becoming a bully through
displaced aggression. Negative attention beats no attention.
I haven’t even touched on parents who are drunks, or drug abusers….
You’re too kind in sharing your experiences, and I can only hope that
you and your husband enjoy life to the fullest.
I am so lucky to have had model parents. I don’t have them anymore
and wish I could tell them how much I miss and love them.
To those of you who have devoted and loving parents: tell them every single
day how much they mean to you. I only wish that I could.
I’d give up every posession just to spend one day with them again.
Sherry says
Geezer, you are so right! I had trouble facing my own abuse because I knew other kids who had it much worse. Too many people just shouldn’t ever have kids and the abuser in this article is just one of them.
Now, if only some government agency will step in and rescue those children before it is too late! I suspect the mother could use some therapy too. A terrible situation!
Hola from Granada. . . enjoyed the magnificent Alhambra today! Going out for Flamenco guitar tonight!