• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
MENUMENU
MENUMENU
  • Home
  • About
    • Contact Us
    • FlaglerLive Board of Directors
    • Comment Policy
    • Mission Statement
    • Our Values
    • Privacy Policy
  • Live Calendar
  • Submit Obituary
  • Submit an Event
  • Support FlaglerLive
  • Advertise on FlaglerLive (386) 503-3808
  • Search Results

FlaglerLive

No Bull, no Fluff, No Smudges

MENUMENU
  • Flagler
    • Flagler County Commission
    • Beverly Beach
    • Economic Development Council
    • Flagler History
    • Mondex/Daytona North
    • The Hammock
    • Tourist Development Council
  • Palm Coast
    • Palm Coast City Council
    • Palm Coast Crime
  • Bunnell
    • Bunnell City Commission
    • Bunnell Crime
  • Flagler Beach
    • Flagler Beach City Commission
    • Flagler Beach Crime
  • Cops/Courts
    • Circuit & County Court
    • Florida Supreme Court
    • Federal Courts
    • Flagler 911
    • Fire House
    • Flagler County Sheriff
    • Flagler Jail Bookings
    • Traffic Accidents
  • Rights & Liberties
    • Fourth Amendment
    • First Amendment
    • Privacy
    • Second Amendment
    • Seventh Amendment
    • Sixth Amendment
    • Sunshine Law
    • Third Amendment
    • Religion & Beliefs
    • Human Rights
    • Immigration
    • Labor Rights
    • 14th Amendment
    • Civil Rights
  • Schools
    • Adult Education
    • Belle Terre Elementary
    • Buddy Taylor Middle
    • Bunnell Elementary
    • Charter Schools
    • Daytona State College
    • Flagler County School Board
    • Flagler Palm Coast High School
    • Higher Education
    • Imagine School
    • Indian Trails Middle
    • Matanzas High School
    • Old Kings Elementary
    • Rymfire Elementary
    • Stetson University
    • Wadsworth Elementary
    • University of Florida/Florida State
  • Economy
    • Jobs & Unemployment
    • Business & Economy
    • Development & Sprawl
    • Leisure & Tourism
    • Local Business
    • Local Media
    • Real Estate & Development
    • Taxes
  • Commentary
    • The Conversation
    • Pierre Tristam
    • Diane Roberts
    • Guest Columns
    • Byblos
    • Editor's Blog
  • Culture
    • African American Cultural Society
    • Arts in Palm Coast & Flagler
    • Books
    • City Repertory Theatre
    • Flagler Auditorium
    • Flagler Playhouse
    • Flagler Youth Orchestra
    • Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra
    • Palm Coast Arts Foundation
    • Special Events
  • Elections 2024
    • Amendments and Referendums
    • Presidential Election
    • Campaign Finance
    • City Elections
    • Congressional
    • Constitutionals
    • Courts
    • Governor
    • Polls
    • Voting Rights
  • Florida
    • Federal Politics
    • Florida History
    • Florida Legislature
    • Florida Legislature
    • Ron DeSantis
  • Health & Society
    • Flagler County Health Department
    • Ask the Doctor Column
    • Health Care
    • Health Care Business
    • Covid-19
    • Children and Families
    • Medicaid and Medicare
    • Mental Health
    • Poverty
    • Violence
  • All Else
    • Daily Briefing
    • Americana
    • Obituaries
    • News Briefs
    • Weather and Climate
    • Wildlife

What Loneliness Epidemic? The Benefits Of Being Alone.

May 31, 2025 | FlaglerLive | 3 Comments

loneliness epidemic benefits of alone
Studies show that choosing ‘me time’ is not a recipe for loneliness but can boost your creativity and emotional well-being. (FotoDuets/iStock via Getty Images Plus)

By Virginia Thomas

Over the past few years, experts have been sounding the alarm over how much time Americans spend alone.

Statistics show that we’re choosing to be solitary for more of our waking hours than ever before, tucked away at home rather than mingling in public. Increasing numbers of us are dining alone and traveling solo, and rates of living alone have nearly doubled in the past 50 years.




These trends coincided with the surgeon general’s 2023 declaration of a loneliness epidemic, leading to recent claims that the U.S. is living in an “anti-social century.”

Loneliness and isolation are indeed social problems that warrant serious attention, especially since chronic states of loneliness are linked with poor outcomes such as depression and a shortened lifespan.

But there is another side to this story, one that deserves a closer look. For some people, the shift toward aloneness represents a desire for what researchers call “positive solitude,” a state that is associated with well-being, not loneliness.

As a psychologist, I’ve spent the past decade researching why people like to be alone – and spending a fair amount of time there myself – so I’m deeply familiar with the joys of solitude. My findings join a host of others that have documented a long list of benefits gained when we choose to spend time by ourselves, ranging from opportunities to recharge our batteries and experience personal growth to making time to connect with our emotions and our creativity.

Being alone can help remind people who they are.

So it makes sense to me why people live alone as soon as their financial circumstances allow, and when asked why they prefer to dine solo, people say simply, “I want more me time.”




It’s also why I’m not surprised that a 2024 national survey found that 56% of Americans considered alone time essential for their mental health. Or that Costco is now selling “solitude sheds” where for around US$2,000 you can buy yourself some peace and quiet.

It’s clear there is a desire, and a market, for solitude right now in American culture. But why does this side of the story often get lost amid the warnings about social isolation?

I suspect it has to do with a collective anxiety about being alone.

The stigma of solitude

This anxiety stems in large part from our culture’s deficit view of solitude. In this type of thinking, the desire to be alone is seen as unnatural and unhealthy, something to be pitied or feared rather than valued or encouraged.

This isn’t just my own observation. A study published in February 2025 found that U.S. news headlines are 10 times more likely to frame being alone negatively than positively. This type of bias shapes people’s beliefs, with studies showing that adults and children alike have clear judgments about when it is – and importantly when it is not – acceptable for their peers to be alone.




This makes sense given that American culture holds up extraversion as the ideal – indeed as the basis for what’s normal. The hallmarks of extraversion include being sociable and assertive, as well as expressing more positive emotions and seeking more stimulation than the opposite personality – the more reserved and risk-averse introverts. Even though not all Americans are extraverts, most of us have been conditioned to cultivate that trait, and those who do reap social and professional rewards. In this cultural milieu, preferring to be alone carries stigma.

But the desire for solitude is not pathological, and it’s not just for introverts. Nor does it automatically spell social isolation and a lonely life. In fact, the data doesn’t fully support current fears of a loneliness epidemic, something scholars and journalists have recently acknowledged.

In other words, although Americans are indeed spending more time alone than previous generations did, it’s not clear that we are actually getting lonelier. And despite our fears for the eldest members of our society, research shows that older adults are happier in solitude than the loneliness narrative would lead us to believe.

It’s all a balancing act – along with solitude, you need to socialize.

Social media disrupts our solitude

However, solitude’s benefits don’t automatically appear whenever we take a break from the social world. They arrive when we are truly alone – when we intentionally carve out the time and space to connect with ourselves – not when we are alone on our devices.

My research has found that solitude’s positive effects on well-being are far less likely to materialize if the majority of our alone time is spent staring at our screens, especially when we’re passively scrolling social media.

This is where I believe the collective anxiety is well placed, especially the focus on young adults who are increasingly forgoing face-to-face social interaction in favor of a virtual life – and who may face significant distress as a result.

Social media is by definition social. It’s in the name. We cannot be truly alone when we’re on it. What’s more, it’s not the type of nourishing “me time” I suspect many people are longing for.




True solitude turns attention inward. It’s a time to slow down and reflect. A time to do as we please, not to please anyone else. A time to be emotionally available to ourselves, rather than to others. When we spend our solitude in these ways, the benefits accrue: We feel rested and rejuvenated, we gain clarity and emotional balance, we feel freer and more connected to ourselves.

But if we’re addicted to being busy, it can be hard to slow down. If we’re used to looking at a screen, it can be scary to look inside. And if we don’t have the skills to validate being alone as a normal and healthy human need, then we waste our alone time feeling guilty, weird or selfish.

The importance of reframing solitude

Americans choosing to spend more time alone is indeed a challenge to the cultural script, and the stigmatization of solitude can be difficult to change. Nevertheless, a small but growing body of research indicates that it is possible, and effective, to reframe the way we think about solitude.

For example, viewing solitude as a beneficial experience rather than a lonely one has been shown to help alleviate negative feelings about being alone, even for the participants who were severely lonely. People who perceive their time alone as “full” rather than “empty” are more likely to experience their alone time as meaningful, using it for growth-oriented purposes such as self-reflection or spiritual connection.

Even something as simple as a linguistic shift – replacing “isolation” with “me time” – causes people to view their alone time more positively and likely affects how their friends and family view it as well.

It is true that if we don’t have a community of close relationships to return to after being alone, solitude can lead to social isolation. But it’s also true that too much social interaction is taxing, and such overload negatively affects the quality of our relationships. The country’s recent gravitational pull toward more alone time may partially reflect a desire for more balance in a life that is too busy, too scheduled and, yes, too social.

Just as connection with others is essential for our well-being, so is connection with ourselves.

Virginia Thomas is Assistant Professor of Psychology at Middlebury College. 

The Conversation arose out of deep-seated concerns for the fading quality of our public discourse and recognition of the vital role that academic experts could play in the public arena. Information has always been essential to democracy. It’s a societal good, like clean water. But many now find it difficult to put their trust in the media and experts who have spent years researching a topic. Instead, they listen to those who have the loudest voices. Those uninformed views are amplified by social media networks that reward those who spark outrage instead of insight or thoughtful discussion. The Conversation seeks to be part of the solution to this problem, to raise up the voices of true experts and to make their knowledge available to everyone. The Conversation publishes nightly at 9 p.m. on FlaglerLive.
See the Full Conversation Archives
Support FlaglerLive's End of Year Fundraiser
Thank you readers for getting us to--and past--our year-end fund-raising goal yet again. It’s a bracing way to mark our 15th year at FlaglerLive. Our donors are just a fraction of the 25,000 readers who seek us out for the best-reported, most timely, trustworthy, and independent local news site anywhere, without paywall. FlaglerLive is free. Fighting misinformation and keeping democracy in the sunshine 365/7/24 isn’t free. Take a brief moment, become a champion of fearless, enlightening journalism. Any amount helps. We’re a 501(c)(3) non-profit news organization. Donations are tax deductible.  
You may donate openly or anonymously.
We like Zeffy (no fees), but if you prefer to use PayPal, click here.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. JimboXYZ says

    May 31, 2025 at 10:57 pm

    When “not being alone” is a toxic social situation, being alone isn’t a bad thing.

    1
  2. Lynne says

    June 1, 2025 at 8:22 am

    Many years ago which majoring in religion, I studied the writings of Paul Tillich, German-American theologian/philosopher.
    One of his comments which has stayed with me for some 60 years is “loneliness is the pain of being alone, while solitude is the glory of being alone”. All the more important in these times amidst all the chatter from the daily new and social media.

    2
  3. Pogo says

    June 1, 2025 at 11:09 am

    @Professor Thomas
    https://www.middlebury.edu/college/people/virginia-thomas

    … meet Sir Paul:

    Eleanor Rigby

    [Verse: 1]
    Eleanor Rigby
    Picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
    Lives in a dream
    Waits at the window
    Wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
    Who is it for?

    [Chorus:]
    All the lonely people
    Where do they all come from?
    All the lonely people
    Where do they all belong?

    [Verse: 2]
    Father McKenzie
    Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
    No one comes near
    Look at him working
    Darning his socks in the night when there’s nobody there
    What does he care?

    [Chorus:]
    All the lonely people
    Where do they all come from?
    All the lonely people
    Where do they all belong?

    [Post-Chorus:]
    Ah, look at all the lonely people
    Ah, look at all the lonely people

    [Verse: 3]
    Eleanor Rigby
    Died in the church and was buried along with her name
    Nobody came
    Father McKenzie
    Wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave
    No one was saved

    [Chorus:]
    All the lonely people
    Where do they all come from?
    All the lonely people
    Where do they all belong?

    [Post-Chorus:]
    Ah, look at all the lonely people
    Ah, look at all the lonely people
    All the only people
    All the only people
    All the only people
    All the only people
    All the only people
    All the only people
    All the only people
    All the only people
    Ah, look at all the lonely people
    Ah, look at all the lonely people

    [Verse: 4]
    Eleanor Rigby
    Died in the church and was buried along with her name
    Ah, look at all the lonely people

    [Chorus:]
    All the lonely people
    Where do they all come from?
    All the lonely people
    Where do they all belong?

    [Post-Chorus:]
    Ah, look at all the lonely people
    Ah, look at all the lonely people

    [Outro:]
    Eleanor Rigby
    Died in the church and was buried along with her name

    How is your tea and cake?

    8

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  • Conner Bosch law attorneys lawyers offices palm coast flagler county
  • grand living realty
  • politis matovina attorneys for justice personal injury law auto truck accidents

Primary Sidebar

  • grand living realty
  • politis matovina attorneys for justice personal injury law auto truck accidents

Recent Comments

  • Shark on Deputy’s Son Jayden Jackson, 23, Sentenced to 5 Years in Prison for Hit-and-Run Death of Shaunta Cain
  • Me on Deputy’s Son Jayden Jackson, 23, Sentenced to 5 Years in Prison for Hit-and-Run Death of Shaunta Cain
  • A Republic if You can keep it on The Daily Cartoon and Live Briefing: Sunday, June 1, 2025
  • Steve Ward on Deputy’s Son Jayden Jackson, 23, Sentenced to 5 Years in Prison for Hit-and-Run Death of Shaunta Cain
  • Robjr on Deputy’s Son Jayden Jackson, 23, Sentenced to 5 Years in Prison for Hit-and-Run Death of Shaunta Cain
  • Gene L. on Deputy’s Son Jayden Jackson, 23, Sentenced to 5 Years in Prison for Hit-and-Run Death of Shaunta Cain
  • PeachesMcGee on Deputy’s Son Jayden Jackson, 23, Sentenced to 5 Years in Prison for Hit-and-Run Death of Shaunta Cain
  • Joe D on Why Your Electricity Bill Is So High
  • Deborah Coffey on Flagler County Will Buy 5.2-Acre Parcel on Intracoastal North of Hammock Dune Bridge for Preservation as Parkland
  • Leila on Flagler County’s Beach-Saving Plan All But Killed by Opposition to Sales Tax Increase Despite Last-Minute Switch
  • Deborah Coffey on GOP Bill Would Kick More Than 3 Million Off Food Stamps and Shift $14 Billion In Costs to States
  • Pierre Tristam on The Daily Cartoon and Live Briefing: Monday, June 2, 2025
  • Bo Peep on Flagler County Will Buy 5.2-Acre Parcel on Intracoastal North of Hammock Dune Bridge for Preservation as Parkland
  • T on Palm Coast’s Fire, Parks and Road Impact Fees Are About to Jump 90 to 160% as City Capitalizes Future on Development
  • Alice on GOP Bill Would Kick More Than 3 Million Off Food Stamps and Shift $14 Billion In Costs to States
  • Bill Boots on The Daily Cartoon and Live Briefing: Monday, June 2, 2025

Log in