With images of the Boston Marathon bombing and stories of the victims looping incessantly on television and in social media, the Florida Department of Children and Families has issued a caution to parents and educators about how to handle coming days with children, and about what signs to be on the alert.
Children can start showing signs of trauma right away or months after a disastrous event. Just hearing about an event on the news or seeing a reaction from parents is enough to have an effect on kids.
You may not have spoken to your children about the bombing at the Boston Marathon Monday, but it is possible they heard something at school today and might have questions for you about it this afternoon.
Jennifer Evans, a licensed mental health counselor and traumatologist at DCF who specializes in compassion fatigue, offers these signs to look for in your children and ways you can comfort your child during this time.
Be clear: Talking about tragedy and death can be very difficult for anyone. Being clear and only answering what the child is asking will help them to understand without getting into too much graphic detail. Try using dialogue like, “When people die, their bodies stop working,” albeit perhaps more imaginatively or less mechanically.
Be available: Let your kids ask the questions. Start by asking them, “What do you think happened?” Allow them to guide the conversation where they need to go to help them cope.
Stay calm: Children learn emotional reactions and coping through adults. The way adults react to events is often the way the child perceives and reacts to the event. It is okay to cry and show concern and emotion, and then to show appropriate ways to cope and heal. Try using dialogue like, “It is okay to feel confused and hurt. Sometimes people cry to show how sad they are. This allows their body to feel better.”
Normalize their feelings: When a tragedy happens it can be confusing and often children are uncertain of the emotions they are feeling. Use this opportunity to discuss emotions and the way kids are feeling and explain how you can cope. Try using dialogue like, “Often people feel sad when something like this happens. It is hard to understand why someone would do something like this.”
Understand how children cope: You may see your child try to act out the traumatic event through their dolls or other toys. This can be scary for a parent to see, but kids will often replay the event as a
way to cope. You can use this opportunity to discuss their play and their memory of the event. This is a great time to clarify and normalize their reaction again. Try doing an activity to help provide closure for your child.
Notice changes in behavior: Often the effect of trauma on your body does not happen until weeks after the event. This is a normal process of coping. If your child’s behavior dramatically changes for an extended amount of time, consult a professional. Common symptoms of trauma include sleeplessness, over/under eating, extended sadness for no immediate explanation, extended traumatic play, lack of focus/concentration, and nightmares.
The national Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration provides more information about coping strategies and how children and adults are affected by and react to tragedy. Readers are encouraged to visit the website for resources about how to help friends and family during this time.
Jim R. says
The bombing in Boston is a rare event for Americans, in Iraq it’s a daily occurance thanks to our illegal invasion. what they are left with after our efforts there, is a civil war with no end in sight.
The injuries and death to innocent people by our drone attacts in Afghanistan, Pakistan, amd other countries is called” collateral damage
Jim R. says
but to the parent of a dead child it’s terrorism. We cannot mourn the deaths and injuries of the innocent in Boston and not feel the same compassion for the victims of our military adventures in foreign countries
How did so many children grow up normal in the 70’s? With Professor Ayers and wife Bernardine Dohrn working with the “Weather Underground” to bomb and kill Innocent people.
Today, they are viewed as rock stars by the left.
We should all just tell our children the truth. This is what our government has to do every few years to stay in power and keep us afraid.
I can only say awfully shocking and still on disbelief! Such a cruelty against innocent people! Whoever did this why don’t they have the guts to go against the one’s instrumental for their demise? Sure all the bystanders killed did not create/originate/instrument the reason for these criminals misguided hate. My prayers go to all the victims and their families.