By Diane Roberts
Doctors! Those guys are a menace to decent Americans.
They make us pee in paper cups. They tell us to stop eating Mickey D’s super-sized fries for breakfast. They want us to exercise. Sometimes they demand to take our actual blood, the sick bastards.
Worst of all, they shove needles in us and have the brass-faced, copper-bottomed gall to claim it’s for our own good.
But no mas to the hell to the no! Our governor is fixing to fix this medical mess. He’s going to get a Grand Jury to investigate what he so rightly calls “crimes and wrongdoing” in the vaccine industrial complex.
Big Pharma, George Soros, and the Illuminati have brainwashed government doctors at the CDC, the FDA, the AMA, the JAMA, the NEJM and the rest of those so-called “experts” pushing that mRNA vaccine on the free citizens of Florida.
You don’t know what that stuff does to you. They’ve only been working on it since 1988 and all sensible people, which is to say the people Ron DeSantis talks to, know that you can’t be 100 percent sure Bill Gates didn’t put a tracking chip in there.
Or that those chemicals won’t make you grow another head. Or rearrange your DNA to turn you into a Democrat.
And what if you become magnetic and stick to your own refrigerator door?
This is obviously a conspiracy. As the governor’s petition to the state Supreme Court says, it’s “impossible to imagine that so many influential individuals came to this view on their own.”
I mean, who are you going to believe, our governor (he went to Harvard Law!) and our surgeon general, Joe Ladapo (he went to medical school at Harvard!), or a bunch of elitists who, OK, maybe a lot of them went to Harvard Medical, too, but the liberal doctor establishment brainwashed them into believing in so-called “empirical data” which means they can’t recognize the influence of Satan when they see it.
Thank God Gov. DeSantis is here to get to the bottom of this so-called “pandemic.”
“Medical professionals” claim the unvaccinated were nine times more likely to die than the vaccinated. “Journalists” point out that in 2021 our governor said, “These vaccines are saving lives” and if you get one, “the chance of you getting seriously ill or dying from COVID is effectively zero.”
But the governor only said that stuff because the America-hating “Dr.” Anthony Fauci (you know he believes in evolution) lied, telling citizens that taking a needle full of Pfizer would protect them from the virus.
Also maybe because the governor needs to get more anti-science MAGA voters in 2024.
(And what’s wrong with that?)
Clearly, “Dr.” Anthony Fauci needs to be investigated. He pooh-poohed the president’s excellent idea of drinking disinfectant. He forced Americans to wear masks, denying them their constitutionally protected right to facial freedom.
Has anyone checked to see if Fauci is an agent of the Chinese? He sure talks like a communist.
In a recent interview, he said, “We’re all in this together. We’re all human beings and we’re all susceptible to disease that can kill us.”
Not in Florida. It can’t kill us. We are too free to die. And we don’t believe in being “all in this together.” That’s socialism. If we’re in anything, it’s individually.
Wuhan Tony can tell us till he’s blue in the face that some study by the Commonwealth Fund (clearly a collectivist cell) shows that COVID-19 vaccines made by Pfizer, Moderna, and Johnson & Johnson saved over 3.2 million American lives and kept 18.5 million out of the hospital during 2020 and 2021.
Here in Florida, we don’t believe these gross untruths. Those pictures of old people on ventilators? Crisis actors.
Do your own research.
Dr. Joe Ladapo will take care of us. Just a couple of months ago he published his own study which says that guys 18-39 shouldn’t get vaxxed because they could have a heart attack and die.
Of course, snobs at the Institute for Vaccine Safety at Johns Hopkins and the American Academy of Pediatrics say that Dr. Ladapo’s report isn’t valid because it relies on a very small sample, has a flawed methodology, no named authors, and no peer review. One of these snooty MDs even said any medical journal would reject it “unless you were paying them to publish it.”
Well, what’s wrong with making a little money, huh?
It doesn’t matter anyway. Florida does things the Florida way, which means Ron DeSantis’ way. The best way.
Plus, Dr. Ladapo is a genius and the governor’s putting him in charge of a new Public Health Review Committee to take a long, hard look at the DC snake oil forced down our gullets by medical dictators.
No longer will a bunch of geeks with fancy degrees be in charge of our well-being. Floridians will be liberated from busybody science and allowed to believe whatever we want, never mind “facts,” never mind loser “physicians” who get their jollies poking things into your flesh and looking at your naked x-rays.
Dr. Ladapo and his crack team of Public Health gurus will dig deep into the central medical topics of our time, including:
*Penicillin–will it make you go moldy no matter what the CDC says?
*Who died and made the CDC God, anyway?
*How eating lots of fruit–lots and lots of fruit–can help you ward off everything from COVID-19 to bunions to broken arms.
*Are most diseases caused by demonic possession? How the Deep State refuses to tell the truth about the minions of Hell and the ways they infiltrate us through fluoridated water.
*Why not give exorcists medical licenses? They’re professionals, too.
*Little children are forced to get repeatedly jabbed with needles containing chemicals before they are allowed to go to school. This is sick and weird. Perhaps we should just make children eat two pounds of bananas every day.
Floridians have our own understanding of “health.” After all, we live in a very special place.
Our life-giving water isn’t merely blue: sometimes it comes in an attractive shade of avocado green.
You don’t have to hook fish to benefit from eating those beneficial fish oils; in Florida they wash up on the beach for you to scoop up, already dead!
Vitamin D? We’ve got all you need and more, no expensive pills. Just lie around outside for a few hours. You’ll see that skin start to crinkle and turn red. You’re done!
Plus, our state has many opportunities for exercise, including sprint swimming, best done in alligator-rich ponds, or rowing down flooded streets, and riding on cute carts across highly fertilized lawns in pursuit of a small ball.
See? We don’t need people with white coats and stethoscopes.
The only doctors Florida needs are Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Dr. Laura, and Dr. Feelgood.
Diane Roberts is an 8th-generation Floridian, born and bred in Tallahassee. Educated at Florida State University and Oxford University in England, she has been writing for newspapers since 1983, when she began producing columns on the legislature for the Florida Flambeau. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, the Times of London, the Guardian, the Washington Post, the Oxford American, and Flamingo. She has been a member of the Editorial Board of the St. Petersburg Times–back when that was the Tampa Bay Times’s name–and a long-time columnist for the paper in both its iterations. She was a commentator on NPR for 22 years and continues to contribute radio essays and opinion pieces to the BBC. Roberts is also the author of four books.
John says
One of the many reasons not to be for DeathSantis in his run for President. You think Trump is bad this character is going to be worse.
Brandon Cross says
Why would you say that?
What has he done for you to say that?
Laurel says
Brandon Cross:
-Went after Disney World as retaliation for backing the LGBTQ community, and not following his personal agenda.
-Denied Covid vaccine after telling us all it would save lives (this denial killed many).
-Hired a lapdog for our state’s Surgeon General to claim the vaccines are no good.
-Wanting to ban books in schools that might make some kids “uncomfortable.”
-Denying race history.
-Tricked unsuspecting legal aliens onto a flight from Texas, then to Florida, to abandon them in Martha’s Vineyard on our dime.
-Suppressing voters rights.
-Rallied against CRT even though it wasn’t being taught in the classes he claimed it was.
-Claimed teachers are teaching kids to hate our country.
-Claimed librarians and teachers are “sexualizing” little kids.
-Supporting white “Christian Nationalism” though most of us do not want it shoved down our throats.
-Released a line of merchandise stating “Don’t Fauci my Florida” disparaging a man who has fought viruses for more than 50 years.
-Vindictively firing elected officials who do not bow to his agenda.
-Tries to legislate gender, marriage, lifestyles, women’s’ bodies and religion.
-Supported the saying “Let’s go Brandon,” which was a vulgar slur against our current, duly elected President of the United States.
The man disgusts me.
Jim Dana says
Very good – you nailed it.
Herman says
All of what you pointed out is a lie. You live in a conspiracy theory world where you listen to the MSM lies and what is funny is you actually believe them. Just as one example he did not deny vaccines to anyone. He protected the vulnerable and then when to those who were at less risk. You really need to wake up and see what the MSM, the Dem party and social media such as Twitter has been doing and which continues to be exposed. Our “duly elected” President would never had won would the FBI, MSN, and the Dem party not conspired together to suppress the facts prior to the election.
Cry all you want. Desantis did Florida right. He protected the vulnerable, he protected our economy, (that this administration is destroying nation wide), he kept and is keeping FLorida moving forward. Look what your alternative was….. Christ?? be real. He failed once as Governor and tried to remake himself over and over again….
Tired of it says
Really? You mean lies like Hannity admitting, under oath, that he didn’t “for a minute”, believe trump lost the election and then continue to peddle the stolen election lie for over two year, that kind of lies from FAUX?. As for desantis and COVID…https://www.vox.com/2021/8/13/22622168/ron-desantis-florida-covid-response-failures
Deborah Coffey says
Are you aware of exactly how many kids DeSantis killed by mandating NO MASKS in schools when he opened them in spite of all medical advice? Talk about MSM? Where are you getting your lies from?
Bra cro says
Facts man,
Tell me,,, how many children died?
FlaglerLive says
Among the 4.1 million covid deaths worldwide as of November 2022, 0.4 percent, or over 16,100, were children and adolescents under 20, split almost evenly between those 0-9 and those 10-19, according to UNICEF. In the United States, as of the end of Christmas week, 1,593 children under 18 have died due to Covid, according to the CDC. In Florida, the state obscures the death toll among children, as it does with much to do with Covid, by cutting off the tally at 16 years of age. As of the latest report this week, 51 children younger than 16 have died in Florida due to Covid. The next category is for those between 16 and 29: in that category, 521 have died. None of these numbers reflect the millions of infected children (1 million in Florida alone), the millions of cases of long covid children are living with, the infections children passed on to adults and the elderly, the severe non-fatal complications children endure due to covid, and so on. As Children’s Hospital Colorado notes: “Throughout the pandemic, one of the so-called silver linings that people have clung to is that COVID-19 affects children less than it affects adults. Yet the idea that kids are not impacted by the virus is a myth that is as dangerous as it is inaccurate.”
It is also cruel and indefensible, and is among the disinformation tactics not tolerated here. Bra Cro could have found out those numbers on their own, in a 60-second search, but Bra Cro, a troll, isn’t interested in facts. Trolling isn’t tolerated here, either.
Nephew Of Uncle Sam says
Umm Herman, Christ wasn’t Governor of Florida, Charlie Crist was though. Yet if Christ was Governor he’s probably go out of his way to tell you the Earth is not flat as you may well think too. Re-read Laurels comment.
Veteran says
Nailed it Herman!
Brandon Cross says
What you say is not wrong.
You are a smart person…
Can we figure out a way to stop the Left/right agenda and move to the middle through compt?
Brandon Cross says
I agree with most of what you say.
New Congress will delve into that.
Yet extra r and left et never accept the results. Our only hope is the moderates in Congress.
Hopefully they will, at some point, prevail,
Brandon Cross says
Go Girl!!
You seem to be all over the spectrum!!!
Love You Mean it❤️
Judith A Redican says
Thank you for your fine words. You described our governor to the tee.
Brandon Cross says
Hey after that I guess you are glad of term limits?
Jonathan says
Well done list, you have him pegged correctly.
Brandon Cross says
This gets so convoluted!
I would like to have further conversation on what you submitted.
Of course I disagree with your premise…
Please give me a little time to “Fact Check “ items you present.
Brandon Cross says
My thought was to show how things Lauren was presenting was at best incomplete, and pretty much conjecture ,most at best presented with no support.
Below I will try to answer some of her assumptions .
Disney LGBTQ complaints.
I have no reason to delve into this only to say due to that the CEO was fired because of his actions to this would mean something?
“Denied COVID Vaccine”
Not sure what you are saying? In retort…
My thought is that our Governor has always been a proponent of COVID vaccines for the high impact Florida population.
I would appreciate if you would show how the Governor “denied “ vaccines? Please show me the statistics that backs this? -unsubstantiated assumption-
“Banning Books”
Again this is a subjective statement, not verified by fact.
“Denying race history “
This statement has no support – tell me more?
– Tricked unsuspecting “legal” aliens “
First explain how they are legal??
Please give me support that they were tricked?
Statement is self supporting at best.
– Suppressing voters rights.
Please give me evidence of this unsubstantiated claim?
-This is really troubling that you would say this… please show me what you base your assertion on?
My desire is for all of us… Liberals & Conservatives to work together to make life better in our country.
I don’t see your statements here will help, yet I do hope you want our country be a better place for our heirs.
Please stop the right/left diatribes and work on putting our country back together.
Brandon Cross says
What are the other reasons… love to debate points?
I’m ready… Are you?
Brandon Cry says
Why?
JEK says
I love your articles. Keep going! Florida needs a dose of its “own medicine”.
Veteran says
Vaccines never did prevent Covid. Big lie by the current cabal.
Pierre Tristam says
No, but they kept you alive so you could smugly spread some more misinformation.
starryid says
Speak for yourself, Pierre!
Deborah Coffey says
Tell it, Pierre! TRUTH needs to reign.
Geezer says
Some people forget the covid victims stacked in tractor-trailers with bodily fluids forming puddles underneath. How about the hoarding? Fist fights over toilet paper!
How about 6,687,778 deaths estimated worldwide?
There’s none so blind as those who will not see.
Brandon Cross says
And what is your point?
Sadly Millions died due to COVID ?
You give statistics on the outcome of COVID but little else about current topic?
Pierre Tristam says
The current topic is that these charlatans we have for leaders and surgeons general have a lot to do with a death tool higher than it needs to be, which makes them responsible. Sadly, millions died due to Covid? No. “Sadly” implies Covid’s toll was entirely unpreventable. Tragically, millions died, too many of those needlessly, as their deaths could have been prevented with a little less reckless smugness and fewer policies lapdogging at reactionary heels.
DaleL says
Veteran, what you write is technically true. Vaccines do not actually prevent a person from acquiring an infection from Covid. What is true is that a trained immune system (whether vaccine induced or from a previous Covid infection) can respond more effectively and rapidly than a naive immune system. Most vaccinated people never develop severe symptoms from the infection. Many, if not most never realize they were infected. Even if they do have symptoms, they have a much greater chance of not being hospitalized or dying.
A major study directed by Prof. Dror Mevorach, head of Hadassah Hospital Ein Kerem’s Internal Medicine B Department, found that out of 5 million Israeli recipients of the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine, 136 people developed myocarditis, an inflammation of the heart muscle. Of those cases, the vast majority—129 cases—were mild. The findings were reported in the New England Journal of Medicine on October 6, 2021.
The CDC estimates that in the 18-49 year old age group, the fatality rate from Covid is one out of every 1,245 people. So from the study, 7 people with serious myocarditis out of 5 million versus 7 deaths from Covid out of every 8,720 people.
Veteran says
The point is your government flat out lied to our faces for a year saying “get the vaccine and you won’t get Covid” and the liberal media confirmed it. Now that the truth is out after thousands of people were fired and military discharged, the government and media have changed their tune. So we’re short staffed of police and the military can’t meet recruitment thanks to the moron in the White House!
Pierre Tristam says
Veteran is making things up again. On this site alone we wrote about six trillion stories about Covid, vaccines and so on, with the endless mantra in each story: the vaccine won’t stop infections, but it will drastically reduce severity and risk of death. True then. True now. The disinformants continue to cynically rewrite history (and our words) because they hear it on Goebbelsygook networks like Fox or that Onan atrocity. Not here, “Veteran.”
DaleL says
The government experts said, “…get the vaccine and you have far less chance of getting seriously ill or dying from Covid.” That is flat out true.
The CDC (the experts) have a webpage which lists 25 published pear reviewed studies as to vaccine effectiveness. https://covid.cdc.gov/covid-data-tracker/#vaccine-effectiveness
The CDC also has a summary of vaccine effectiveness. An un-vaccinated adult is 4.2 times more likely to be hospitalized from Covid than a fully vaccinated adult. https://covid.cdc.gov/covid-data-tracker/#covidnet-hospitalizations-vaccination
Perhaps you did not understand that serious myocarditis, according to the Israel study, is a one in a million side effect of vaccination and there were no deaths. However, death from Covid in the 18-49 age group is a one in 2,000 risk. The risk of death from contracting Covid is 400 times greater than the risk of serious myocarditis (not death).
Research studies are dry reading. Different groups spin, downplay, or exaggerate the results depending on their slant. News media in particular are selling a product to their audience. The greater the audience, the greater the revenue. I wouldn’t blame the “moron” who was in the White House too much. Covid came on his watch and some of his actions such as Operation Warp Speed were successful.
JimBob says
As a veteran I don’t recall any options to choose which vaccines and inoculations I might receive.
Brandon Cross says
Very satirical, and very enlightening as to how the … I don’t exactly know how to say the correct thing in this new “woke” progressive thought… Only my own thoughts.
It bothers me a bit that you take such a one sided view of politics?
Yet, I shouldn’t be surprised….perhaps you have published more moderate views. If so never on this site!
It all comes down to the producer/editor of this site?
I may be a “Deplorable” yet one of the many that are highly educated and realize there is another side of the conversation that we rarely see on this sites presentations?
Maybe just once can you submit an article that is right/middle that we can discuss?
It must be difficult being the publisher of this site, you always submit the leftist point of view.
Maybe you can throw us rightist a bone now and then?
Remember 2/3 of voters in Flagler County are listed as Republican or independents vote Republican?
Pierre Tristam says
Brandon, this is the bone. When, as you point out, you’re immersed in a one-party county and one-party media, as Flagler County very much is, what would be the point of adding to that? You get nothing but right-wing liturgy everywhere you look here. So here’s a tiny, occasional alternative to challenge you a bit. Clearly, you like being here. So you have the right instincts. Don’t fight stepping out of the cave every once in a while. It’s kinda nice out here.
Brandon Cross says
Funny thing.
Starting with Richard Nixon, I have voted for the presidents that one except 2020.
Personally I vote for the person I think can help our country most.
You didn’t ask for my opinion, yet I will give it.
Our Country is in crisis .
The southern border is a sham.
Too many social giveaways now COVID crisis is over?
Our Nation was built on hard work and the ability to make a better life by doing so. Current generation , is one of entitlement.
Look back at history…
All great nations have emploded.
We are the greatest nation God has ever allowed.
We are following the same path.
Will this impact me?
Probably not, yet I am sad for my ancestors.
Your quotation of Plato is interesting?
Nancy N. says
I wonder if you’ve ever sent a similar request to Fox News, given that in recent national elections over 50% of the votes have gone to what you call “woke” candidates? I’m guessing not…
Brandon Cross says
Not sure your meaning?
Skibum says
I’m doing a little projecting here, but… when Gov. Deathsantis first walked into Dr. Ladapo’s office to talk to him about being enshrined as the new Surgeon General for this state, the first thing he saw prominently displayed on the wall behind Ladapo’s desk was a framed photo of Dr. Josef Mengele, the infamous Nazi SS “angel of death at the WWII concentration camps. And Deathsantis immediately thought, YES, this is my guy!!!
Brandon Cross says
Speculation whiteout proof is Bullshit!!!!
Bill C says
Exactly what DeSantis is doing! Thanks Brandon :-)
Geezer says
Speculation without proof is…..”speculation.”
“Bullshit” is willful dishonesty.
When bullshit occurs without Whiteout, it’s time to go to your local stationers.
Happy new year! :-)
Brandon Cross says
You have put this out but factcheck says your disrobe is FALSE
Why would you put this out?
FlaglerLive says
The first line makes clear that this is satire.
Herman says
Hmmmmm… but you do not allow that when the “satire” goes the other direction. That’s the problem. That’s the same bias that is rampant. Why can’t you have an even hand? Why suppress the other side? What are you afraid of?
Merry Christmas by the way.
FlaglerLive says
Merry Christmas Herman, and thank you for your support. (That’s not sarcasm, Herman is an actual supporter, and we’re grateful.)
Geezer says
Interesting use of the word “disrobe.”
Yes, I am a Grammar Police Sergeant and appreciate constructive criticism.
Try “diatribe” instead of disrobe.
Hmm, did I forget quotation marks in line 3?
Brandon Cross says
Projecting!!!
WTF!!!
Are you relating our Governor who won in a landslide to NATZs?
Deborah Coffey says
Yes, he’s almost there. Half of my family are Jews. We KNOW the history well and, all the signs are there. DeSantis has already begun the killing of innocents and ignoramuses. The Covid stats in Florida prove it.
Veteran says
Really, you’re saying DeSantis is like Hitler? Do you know him? You don’t have a clue.
Deborah Coffey says
Tell me exactly how many school kids died one month after DeSantis sent them back to school while forbidding those schools to allow mask-wearing. Tell me the number of dead kids. Go ahead.
Skibum says
Yes, Brandon, that is EXACTLY what I was relating. Remember, Hitler was put in power by the German people in a landslide also, so that doesn’t mean they made the right decision then, which we all know now was the beginning of the horror of the Nazi party. Then comes along trumpy dumpty, who had a great fall which allowed deathsantis to claim his landslide from the sheep who choose to close their ears and eyes to reality and blindly re-elect someone who is so far right and anti-science just for political expediency. But the worst thing he did is to first minimize the work of Dr. Fauci and the CDC, then publicly reject the proven efficacy of the covid vaccine and encourage parents NOT to vaccinate their children while at the same time trying to encourage large, unvaccinated gatherings and open businesses with the force of state laws preventing local governments from even making public safety rules to prevent more covid infections. And that, Brandon, resulted in many unnecessary covid infections, hospitalizations, and I’m sure too many innocent deaths that could have been prevented had the governor upheld his oath and protected the citizens instead of killing them. You try to defend the indefensible, but you are not fooling anyone, unlike our current governor, who obviously has fooled many, including you.
Brandon Cross says
Know what?
It is easy to put a negative spin on anything, particularly politics.
I will say this… nothing is going to change until both sides of the political process starts moving towards the middle, yet we have become so polarized I don’t see that happening.
So I guess we are destined to remain in this gridlock from Hell.
Very Sad
DaleL says
Adolf Hitler got 30.1 percent of the vote in the first round of the 1932 election and 36.7 percent in the second round. Paul von Hindenburg got 49.5 and 53 percent respectively. Hindenburg was elected president of Germany. Hindenburg appointed Hitler as chancellor in January 1933. The Reichstag fire, one month later, allowed Hitler to nullify constitutional protection of free speech and other civil liberties. When Hindenburg died in 1934, Hitler became head of state. Although Hitler came into power by democratic means, he NEVER won an election let alone a landslide.
Ray W. says
Yes, I repeat myself, but it seems time to remind FlaglerLive readers that William Shirer, the international journalist hired by Edward Murrow to cover the European continent while Murrow reported from London, published his memoirs from his time in Europe in the early 1980’s. In The Nightmare Years, Shirer wrote that the slogan used by the National Socialist Party in that 1932 campaign was: Make Germany Great Again.
Skibum says
Thanks for the clarifying information, Dale. I didn’t mean to infer that Hitler’s rise to power was the result of an election… I don’t believe he or the ones that led him to power would have ever allowed that after not getting more than 30 percent of support in the 1932 election. If your stats are correct, and I have no doubt otherwise, it should be even more disturbing to our system of democracy how Hitler was able to take complete control over the government with such a low level of popular support. That in itself should be a wake up call for America and how close to anarchy our nation came on Jan. 6 when extremist followers of the election loser were organized and encouraged to storm the seat of our federal government in a coup attempt. People had better wake up and realize that there are high ranking elected officials still in power who have the mindset and potential to call up an extremist mob again in the future to thwart an election outcome that is not favorable to them.
Geezer says
Remember that DeSatan harnesses untruths to further his agenda just like Mr. Hitler.
He is a shameless propagandist just like Trump.
“Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth”, is a law of propaganda often attributed to the Nazi Joseph Goebbels (Minister of Propaganda for Adolf Hitler). He was quite effective at propagating deep hatred en masse based on lies—he equated Germany’s Jews to a gigantic rat infestation.
DeSatan is just a twit with silly followers. In a few years, people will disavow having voted for him,
the same way as Donald the Dummy. His supporters are just deeply unfulfilled people who need to
harm others to feel better about themselves.
I equate these people as third-place finishers in a 2-person race…
justbob says
Oh yes here we go… A grandstanding grand jury. The madness never ends.
Michael Cocchiola says
Shush! Don’t tell anyone that this is satire. If the unvaccinated wish to stay that way, fine with me. Thins the amoeba at the bottom of the gene pool.