Sex Education In Flagler County Schools: Parents’ Comments

The Flagler County school district is exploring whether to change its policy on sex education. Currently, the policy calls for an abstinence-only sex-ed curriculum–when that curriculum is taught, which is rare. The district is exploring an “abstinence-plus” curriculum that would still focus on abstinence, but expand sex education to include information about sexually transmitted diseases, safe sex, and contraception. The district is looking to the community to gauge how far it may, or should, go with abstinence plus: how early to start teaching the curriculum, for example, and whether to make condoms available in school clinics.

The district in March surveyed students, parents and “community members” (residents who don’t have children in school) about sex education. The surveys invited participants to include their comments, anonymously. Those comments follow, as they were written into the surveys and provided by the school district. The comments below are those provided through the parents’ survey. Background on the story can be read here.

Students’ comments can be read here (part 1) and here (part 2), and community members’ comments can be read here. All comments are provided unedited and uncensored.

I still believe abstinence should be taught. I would not want my child to be able to get condoms at school. We are raising our children in a Christian home and are teaching Christian principles. I feel the home is where this choice should be taught not schools.

I feel kids are curious and the more education they receive from various sources is better than not getting the true facts or only from parents.

I think the abstinence plus program is a great idea, but handing out condoms is a big mistake. We teach abstinence in our home and giving children a condom will only invite ideas into their already confused mind and body. I propose that you give them the resources such as the health department or even have a spokesperson come in speak with them about it. They need counseling concerning this and do the schools have the time or the faculty that is qualified to do this?

I don’t think that an abstinence only approach is the way to educate teens in these times. It’s just not realistic and is too closely related to religious beliefs, which should not be taught in a public school. Luckily I have a close relationship with my child and I am able to discuss these things openly. And I am aware of my childs choices and opinions on sex. I feel that a more realistic approach to sex education would better serve our teenage children. An older teacher preaching to them is not going to have much of an affect and I feel that it could very definitely backfire. I think peers are the best possible role models for our kids. Someone they can relate to, that can share their experiences with teenage pregnancy and STD’s. The program with the Realcare dolls is one way to show them what it’s like to deal with a baby also. The statistics that were presented in this survey prove that we need a new approach to this issue. Whatever policy that is in place presently is obviously not working.

Abstinence only obviously is not an effective means of teaching children about sex. I was floored by the some the statistics in this survey and will make it a point to communicate regularly with my 13 year old about sex and the ramifications of being sexually active. Thank you for the survey and know that you have my full support for teaching “abstinence plus” starting in middle school.

If parents would step up to the plate and take responsibilty and teach their children and keep the school out of it I believe that we would not have such a high rate of pregnancy or disease. Parents need to have open communication with their children and be real with them and also parents need to know what their children are watching and explain to them that what the see on videos or tv is not real life but acting. Sex is not love! It is a natural instinct that should be controlled with self disipline but the teaching needs to start at home.

Sex education is very important, but I fear the things that are taught do not align with our value system. Therefore, I do not want my children taught at the public schools. Perhaps after-school classes could be offered with parents’ permission. The default should be nothing unless parents give permission, not the other way around Condoms should not be given out at the schools at all. This is a violation and interference with what we seek to teach our children and undermines our authority in their lives.

Although I do approve of appropriately taught sex education in schools, I do not approve of the schools teaching the benefits of momogamous “heterosexual” relationships. I do NOT nor will I allow anyone else to teach my minor child to discriminate against homosexuals or any other group.

If we could gaurentee ALL children would recieve sex eduacionat at home, great. However, we all know that is NOT going to happen, Therfore Sex Ed. must be taught in the schools, instead of allowing area youth to research the topic online and obtain a great deal of misinformation.

I don’t like the fact about handing out condoms especially at 6 grade level but with all the reports on how children are becoming more sexually active something needs to be done.Once a child/ teenage has sex they will not stop.Hopefully the parents will also educate their children. It can not only be done by the school system. It should start at home first . Also parents need to educate themselves and stop believing that my child won’t do that ! Because believe me they do and it doesn’t matter wht kind of background they come from good home or bad home.

In this day and age I find it incomprehensible that we would still be teaching abstinence only.

I do not want to put any ideas in my child’s head about sex at this point. She’s not interested and that is fine – I don’t want to glamorize it. However, I know there are many children her age that do participate in it and they should have every available resource to keep them safe – condoms,birth control, etc.

I agree to provide information to students about methods of protection besides abstinence, however, I do not agree with providing condoms to students.

All of the facts of the consequences of sex should be taught, as well as information on birth control. What should be included is that everyone, male and female, has the right to say no. Parents should be able to opt their children out of middle school sex education, and in high school it should be within elective classes, or available as assemblies where the students can choose to attend. Honest, frank discussion with facts about ALL information is best. School is where information should be provided, but not implements, so no, condoms should not be available.

SHOULD BE TAUGHT AT HOME TO AVOID SEX.AND THE NEGATIVE AFFECTS OF IT

You should have addressed the very high incidences of STDs in Flagler County Youth as well. I received better sex ed in the 70s and 80s than these kids get.

If a nine or ten year old is old enough to parent a child physically, they are old enough to get some education regarding pregnancies and family planning. I have spoken to my daughters about this already. I only hope that all parents will by the time they reach the fifth and sixth grades. But because I cannot count on them to do so, I look toward the school system to do this. To provide a back-up. To parent the kids whose parents can’t or don’t.

I believe this topic is the responsibility of the parent NOT public schools. I discuss sex, STDs, pregnancy etc. with all my children and do not feel it is the schools job to do so.

I firmly believe in open conversations regarding sex and all of the ramifications of it.

Having condoms in school clinics is like telling kids its OK to have sex at a young age.

I think that opening the door to “educate” our kids earlier and earlier has made them more curious at a younger age about these things. I think that if they had more education about God, prayer, the bible and we were God-fearing people this wouldn’t be an issue and we wouldn’t have this problem to start with. The parents are a major issue. We are not “training our children in the way they should go” anymore. We’ve allow TV, internet, movies, music to educate our kids and then we send them to school to get more “educated” because now more than 50% percent are having sex. It is absolutely ridiculous to think that giving them more education and making condoms available is going to prevent what is now happening. No, by doing that it will only make it worse. Bring back prayer. Good grief bring back history class. My 6th grader doesn’t even have a history class this year! When I was in 3rd grade the education system started teaching us about families that included grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc as a normal thing for kids to be raised by instead of just the classical mom and dad; and the divorce rate, single parents, parents who have completely given their kids over to other family members has escalated tremendously. We have made it acceptable. Now we are going to make sex before marriage, homo/bi sexuality normal thing? Or make it seem like is okay to have sex because we are going to prevent pregnancy and STD’s? Our schools have gone morally down hill fast since taking prayer out. I will pull my children out of public school before I allow them to be taught that this is acceptable or normal even though it is under guise of prevention.

I think a health education class discussing sexual health, diseases, etc is a good idea but schools should NOT teach beyond basics, should not replace parental teaching and should not encourage nor teach controversial subjects.

I agree with abstinence is the best policy. It does not matter if they are heterosexual or homosexual. Teaching chidren about sex and the consequences is the important thing.

Having condoms available will not change a person’s sexual behavior. Condoms will only give people a safer alternative to nothing at all.

abstinence is the only choice!!!!!!!!!!!!

At what grade is this currently discussed? I have a 6th grader and there has been nothing discussed, not even the talk I remember from 4th grade about menstruation.

I THINK CHILDREN THESE AGES SHOULD BE INTRUDUCED TO SAFE SEX

Education regarding the biology of sexuality is acceptable to be taught in school. Educating children in “safe sex” practices promotes sexual experimentation pre-maritally as a moral standard. The moral standard of abstinance should be presented as the only option for completely safe sex. Condoms do not prevent young girls from experiencing the emotional devastation of losing their purity, self respect, and becoming a sexual object to sexually charged boys who have been given condoms by authority figures as a licence to exert no self control regarding human lives. Please consider the emotional and spiritual damage being caused by promoting premarital sex through the provision of condoms in school. Also, I am in direct disagreement that schools should present options for sexual orientation to our children other than heterosexuality. Moral standards, as defined by the God who created us, taught in the home should not be undermined by the school system. Parents respect the authority of teachers to teach responsibly and effectively. The school system should extend this same respect to parents who trust that their children are not being morally undermined at school by the teaching of unacceptable forms of sexual orientation. Education should be directed to the parents of our children because the statistics revealed above are a direct result of irresponsible parenting. This is a moral and spiritual issue beginning in the hearts and homes of the families in Flagler County.

I think a lot of Parents should step up to their roles as parents. I speak from experience. If my father informed me and was open to discuss the topic of Sex, Not just the normal info about sex but an all around topic of many types of things considered you should not do. for Example Oral sex I was not aware that this is happening to a much younger group of people 5th graders…Insane….Our Kids need as much info as they can get.. , I would have not been a young mother 13 years ago if I had the information.

Our community should be teaching parents and families how to manage these conversations at home and how to instill better values. Sex education is not the school’s responsibility, it is the parents responsibility. Condoms should NOT be handed out in schools and sex outside of marriage should not be advocated in schools. Enough is enough. Sex among teens is NOT acceptable, nor should it be encouraged with condoms.

my son is too young to talk about this {which is why i checked “no”}, but he already knows @ age 5 that only The Lord will provide a Christian wife for him & that girls’ bodies are private. these teenage pregnancy problems & disgusting murders {abortions} are a result of taking God out of american schools. “sex” ed. is only to be taught @ home-hopefully the right way as stated on your website–abstinence until heterosexual, monogamous marriage. amen to “old” but TRUE Biblical teaching!! thank you.

As I do understand that young children and teenagers is the topic of this sex education survey and it does directly affect the school district, sex education begins at home. If you take of survey of young children and teenagers that are on or have used drugs the percentage would be much higher. Do schools start handing out needles, rolling papers, pipes and bongs? No. Let’s educate our young people about the consequences of having sex or babies at such a young age and how it will negatively affect their lives.

Teaching abstinence till marriage is foolish and a sighn of self delusion. People have sex. Most have it outside of marriage long before getting married. This has been true for decades if not centuries. Give children the facts and the wisdom to make good choices when they do decide to have sex. Demonstrate the consequences of accidents happening, and the statistics will take care of themselves.

In my opinon the problem is you dont teach about the bible any more.Most of the parents in the past forgot how to teach their kids the right way to live.The teacher’s had a lot to do with this to.I think if you want to teach this to student You teacher need to start teaching by example.I know there are alot of teachers in the past and now that don’t no how to raise their on children.You think by putting your kids in day care it ok.How do you think they feel when they are not raise right, being pawned off on someone else to take care of them. When they decided to have that child.I am so glad i was raised by my parent’s the correct way having a mother that stayed home and was there when we came home from school and was tault that we had to work for what we wanted not just giving it to us because someone said it was our right to have it.The union and our Goverment have also help destory this country.So if there is going to be any sex tault too my so I as the parent of my son will teach him the proper way.The way of the Holy Bible,Not to mix races,marriage is between an man and woman,not to commit adultry,and to let you know this will be the last year my son will atend public school.Starting next year he will be home school and i won’t have to worry so much on how and what you idiots are teaching him.I love how you people go and protest on the side of the road for better pay and then tell the news channels that you are doing it for the kids.We all no its not for the student because if you believed in the student you would stand up for their rights not yours and stop teaching this crap to children so young.I believe someone should teach you teacher the proper things about sex and quit hurting our kids.

Being a teacher in a local middle school, I am aware of the choices students make. I do believe it is the parents responsibility to educate their children on sexual activity, that being said, our society is failing our children. Teaching a health class in middle and high school that deals with sex, STD’s, pregnancy, drugs, and health concerns would be very beneficial to our students.

Sex education should be age appropriate and start at 5th-6th grade with a discussion of puberty and then again a couple years later with a complete discussion about diseases and safety. There should be another refresher course in 9th-10th grade. Students deserve to have a complete and correct sexual education for their own health and safety. Abstinence only education has proven, again and again, to not provide that.

I believe it is the parents responsibility to teach their child about sex. I am also aware that many fall short in teaching their children anything on this topic. However, I do not want this subject to a mandatory class for my child. It is vitally important for our teenagers to know the data available about sexually transmitted diseases and the long term damages related to sex. This is my job to teach my child. I do not want the school to try and force my children to take a course on this subject. We teach our children the biblical perspective on sex. The public school is not notorious for teaching our children anything based on a biblical perspective. Therefore, my children will not participate in any course related to sex. Where in this survey is the question about abstinence? No where………….. How do we no whether the intent is to teach abstinence? We don’t.

If condoms are made available, it should be through the clinic or guidance counselors, and include either a discussion or pamphlet on safe sex.

Possibly having some teen moms AND dads come in to the discussion about their life-changing decisions. Also, how about some classes for the parents on how to get the discussion started at home.

I think students should be kicked out of school for sex contact

I think if more parents were involved in their church community and brought the kids up with morals we would not have the problems we face. If parents aren’t religious they should at least be spending more time with the kids. Stay home and stay involved in their own kids lives. When they don’t feel loved and cared about by their family they will seek it from else where. PARENTS NEED TO BE PARENTS!! IF YOU ASK THE PARENTS OF THE CHILDREN WHO ARE HAVING SEX – THEY PROBABLY THINK IT WAS OK. STAY OUT OF FAMILY LIFE!!

For some students schools are the only option they have to get viable information. They do not have the relationship with parent(s) to have this type of discussion. The schools must have these discussions with students. Many of middle school aged students are already engaged in sexual activity so we need to educate them on the risks. Many parents need to be educated as well.

I think that teaching about sex in general should be an ongoing thing that adjusts as the children get older. I explained everything about sex and reproduction to my children when they went into Kindergarten and any time they ask, we discuss it. My children are grades 5 and 3. But at a point when kids may actually start having sex, I think it is important to teach them about being safe and making good choices. I am fine with abstinence being taught as the preferred method for kids to be safe. But I also think it is more realistic to include other information. I think topics like sexuality (homosexual, bisexual, etc.) should not be taught in the schools – these are better suited to college age kids. I believe those sorts of topics will waver away from the important issues, which is preventing teen pregnancies and disease, and also making wise life choices.

The ONLY topic that should be taught, IF ANY, in schools, is abstinence. I feel that sex ed is a home discussion. If any of this is offered at my child’s schools, I will not let them participate.

abstinence is the only way to handle premarital sex. i also think that sex needs to be defined to include oral sex.

These kids need information not denial.

I think that the schools should go back to the baby handling course. This is wear a kids gets a life like infant for a weekend and has to take care of it. The baby is programmed to cry until it is either changed or fed. My olders daughters class still had them. She is now 21. My 16 year old never did have this opportunity. I think kids will think twice before not using a condom if they start this program back up.

I don’t think that any topic about sex education should be brought into the elementary schools for any reason.

It is a very personal family decision that should not be taken on by the school system!!! My husband & I are more than capable of deciding how to teach our own children about sex, pregnancy, healthy choices, and appropriate relationships.

I am fully supportive of comprehensive sex education.

It’s unconscionable that schools don’t currently teach the facts about sex and stds that would allow students to know how to protect themselves if they choose to have sex

I dont understand why part of the class should be on the “benefits of monogamous heterosexual marriage.” I was raised in a household with lesbian parents. I am heterosexual and am married with 3 children. My parents taught me about sex and being a parent just as well as straight ones would. I dont think that sexual preference should be taught in sex-ed. Just safety safety if you will be sexually active. One of my childs friends who is in middle school has already been treated for 2 STD’s so I stress the importance of how serious sex is, not just pregnancy but it can kill you. I want to see MTV come out with a show 16 and dying from AIDS, because they make these young kids feel they can just get on MTV if they get pregnant.

would schools please allow parents to raise their children, and stay out of it when it comes to these issues, schools teach academics, let the parents handle these issues as they were handle back when we were young.

I think that sex education should include information about safe sex, STD’s and health issues. I think an appropriate time to discuss this topic is before the teen graduates 8th grade or at the beginning of 9th grade.

Girls begin having menstrual cycles in 5th grade. In explaining the cycle to girls, you have to discuss the purpose for the cycle – to have children. Then the question comes up “How do you have babies?”