• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
MENUMENU
MENUMENU
  • Home
  • About
    • Contact Us
    • FlaglerLive Board of Directors
    • Comment Policy
    • Mission Statement
    • Our Values
  • Live Calendar
  • Submit Obituary
  • Submit an Event
  • Support FlaglerLive
  • Advertise on FlaglerLive (386) 503-3808
  • Search Results

FlaglerLive

No Bull, no Fluff, No Smudges

MENUMENU
  • Flagler
    • Flagler County Commission
    • Beverly Beach
    • Economic Development Council
    • Flagler History
    • Mondex/Daytona North
    • The Hammock
    • Tourist Development Council
  • Palm Coast
    • Palm Coast City Council
    • Palm Coast Crime
  • Bunnell
    • Bunnell City Commission
    • Bunnell Crime
  • Flagler Beach
    • Flagler Beach City Commission
    • Flagler Beach Crime
  • Cops/Courts
    • Circuit & County Court
    • Florida Supreme Court
    • Federal Courts
    • Flagler 911
    • Fire House
    • Flagler County Sheriff
    • Flagler Jail Bookings
    • Traffic Accidents
  • Rights & Liberties
    • Fourth Amendment
    • First Amendment
    • Privacy
    • Second Amendment
    • Seventh Amendment
    • Sixth Amendment
    • Sunshine Law
    • Third Amendment
    • Religion & Beliefs
    • Human Rights
    • Immigration
    • Labor Rights
    • 14th Amendment
    • Civil Rights
  • Schools
    • Adult Education
    • Belle Terre Elementary
    • Buddy Taylor Middle
    • Bunnell Elementary
    • Charter Schools
    • Daytona State College
    • Flagler County School Board
    • Flagler Palm Coast High School
    • Higher Education
    • Imagine School
    • Indian Trails Middle
    • Matanzas High School
    • Old Kings Elementary
    • Rymfire Elementary
    • Stetson University
    • Wadsworth Elementary
    • University of Florida/Florida State
  • Economy
    • Jobs & Unemployment
    • Business & Economy
    • Development & Sprawl
    • Leisure & Tourism
    • Local Business
    • Local Media
    • Real Estate & Development
    • Taxes
  • Commentary
    • The Conversation
    • Pierre Tristam
    • Diane Roberts
    • Guest Columns
    • Byblos
    • Editor's Blog
  • Culture
    • African American Cultural Society
    • Arts in Palm Coast & Flagler
    • Books
    • City Repertory Theatre
    • Flagler Auditorium
    • Flagler Playhouse
    • Flagler Youth Orchestra
    • Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra
    • Palm Coast Arts Foundation
    • Special Events
  • Elections 2022
    • Amendments and Referendums
    • Presidential Election
    • Campaign Finance
    • City Elections
    • Congressional
    • Constitutionals
    • Courts
    • Governor
    • Polls
    • Voting Rights
  • Florida
    • Federal Politics
    • Florida History
    • Florida Legislature
    • Florida Legislature
    • Ron DeSantis
  • Health & Society
    • Flagler County Health Department
    • Ask the Doctor Column
    • Health Care
    • Health Care Business
    • Covid-19
    • Children and Families
    • Medicaid and Medicare
    • Mental Health
    • Poverty
    • Violence
  • All Else
    • Daily Briefing
    • Americana
    • Obituaries
    • News Briefs
    • Weather and Climate
    • Wildlife

Milton Berle’s “Anaconda”

November 28, 2009 | FlaglerLive | 1 Comment

alan zweibel anaconda penis
Alan Zweibel. (Dave Pape)

Alan Zweibel is a writer and producer who was among the original writers on Saturday Night Live, back when Gerald Ford was still president. Here’s his story of coming face to face with Milton Berle’s legendary penis.

Milton Berle took a liking to me and gravitated to me, I think because in the early seventies I had written all these jokes for Catskill comics. And I wrote jokes for a lot of the Friars Club roasts, where Uncle Miltie was usually the roastmaster. You played to people’s stereotypes with those jokes —Jack Benny was the cheap one and so on — and with Berle, all I had known was he wore a dress on TV and supposedly stole everybody’s jokes. And also I learned early on that he was the guy with the big dick, one of the biggest m show business. So I started writing big dick jokes about him for these Friars roasts.

Now fast forward a few years and I’m in Milton Berle’s dressing room at Saturday Night Live. He’s sitting on a couch behind a coffee table and he’s wearing a very short kind of bathrobe, the kind that comes down to about midthigh. And somehow I just say to him, “You know, it’s so weird that I’m here talking to you, because for years I was writing jokes about your dick.” I said, “I wrote all these jokes about your cock and now I’m talking to you — I feel like there’s some violation or something here.”

He says to me: “You mean you never saw it?” I said, “Uh, no, I don’t believe I did.” Then he said, “Well, would you like to?” And before I had a chance to say, “Not really” or “Can I think about it?” or whatever, he parts his bathrobe and he just takes out this — this anaconda. He lays it on the table and I’m looking into this thing, right? I’m looking into the head of Milton Berle’s dick. It was enormous. It was like a pepperoni. And he goes, “What do you think of the boy?” And I’m looking right at it and I go, “Oh, it’s really, really nice.”

At which point Gilda [Radner] opens the door to the dressing room. It’s like an I Love Lucy sketch, but this honestly happened! She opens the door to his dressing room just in time to see me looking into his dick saying, “Yeah, it’s really, really nice.”

I tell Milton, “I’ll talk to you later,” closed the door, and left.

–From Live From New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live (Little, Brown, 2002).

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
You and your neighbors collectively read our articles about 25,000 times each day (that's not a typo) with up to 65,000 daily reads during emergencies like hurricanes. Flagler County residents rely on FlaglerLive for essential, bold and analytical journalism that cannot be found anywhere else. But we depend on your support. Please join our December fund drive! If you donate the cost of a scoop of ice cream, you will be helping us continue to provide comprehensive local news and honest, serious journalism for our community. If you can donate more or become a monthly donor, even better. Donations are tax deductible since FlaglerLive is a 501(c)(3) non-profit news organization. Donate by clicking anywhere in this box. Think of it as buying a scoop, in every sense of the term!  
All donors' identities are kept confidential and anonymous.
   

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. [email protected] says

    November 26, 2020 at 3:24 pm

    Wow it’s funny….my mom told me quite a few years back that she had gone back stage durring a show and he (burl) showed her and her girlfriend the King Cobra….and she said it was true!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Advertisers

  • grand living realty
  • politis matovina attorneys for justice personal injury law auto truck accidents
  • WNZF Creekside Festival

Recent Comments

  • TR on Town Center Fills In Slowly: Palm Coast Council Approves First 66 of 161 Homes at ‘The Retreat’
  • Concerned Citizen on At Post-Segregated Assemblies Town Hall, Superintendent Bridges Conversation Beyond Walls and Outrage
  • Danielle Brown on Sean Barry, 33, Found Hanging at County Jail and Dies at Hospital. He’d Been Waiting for a Drug-Treatment Bed.
  • Deborah Coffey on No Plans Yet for Florida Health Departments to Offer New Covid Vaccine Even as It Rolls Out in Other States
  • Skibum on Contrasting with Depa Case, Judge Dismisses Charge Against Autistic Female Who’d Assaulted Teacher at Matanzas
  • Laurel on The Supreme Court’s Conservative Supermajority Reconvenes. Beware.
  • endless dark money on How the Federal Government Shutdown Would Affect You
  • Elise Gilbert on Contrasting with Depa Case, Judge Dismisses Charge Against Autistic Female Who’d Assaulted Teacher at Matanzas
  • Laurel on How the Federal Government Shutdown Would Affect You
  • Pogo on How the Federal Government Shutdown Would Affect You
  • Laurel on How the Federal Government Shutdown Would Affect You
  • Pogo on DeSantis Will Debate Gavin Newsom in Georgia in November
  • got a question on At Post-Segregated Assemblies Town Hall, Superintendent Bridges Conversation Beyond Walls and Outrage
  • Atwp on How the Federal Government Shutdown Would Affect You
  • Atwp on At Post-Segregated Assemblies Town Hall, Superintendent Bridges Conversation Beyond Walls and Outrage
  • Lorraine on Town Center Fills In Slowly: Palm Coast Council Approves First 66 of 161 Homes at ‘The Retreat’

Log in