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Arming Teachers Isn’t Enough:
A Proposal of Modest Caliber

| January 13, 2013

children and guns NRA schools

Harry Callahan would be proud. (Bikerock)

I’ve been listening to Waye LaPierre, the National Rifle Association vice president,  talk about how to protect our children from the next school massacre, and I have to say: he makes some sense. The only thing that can keep guns out of schools is more guns in school.

pierre tristam column flaglerlive We have about 70,000 public schools in America, only 23,000 of which have armed security of one type or another. That’s insane. LaPierre is proposing having an armed guard in every school. That, too, is insane, because it’s not enough. There was an armed guard at Columbine. Look how much good that did. It’s not just about the armed guards. It’s about the teachers, the principals, the librarians, the counselors, the bus drivers, the custodians. All those guys should be armed. And have a rifle at the ready, above the blackboard or below the dashboard, just in case.

But even that is too timid, because we’re still forgetting the children. They, too, should have the right to fire back. Considering how desensitized they are to violence, they’re probably the best shots around. By the time they’re 10 years old most children can torture, maim, kill and decapitate anything that moves thanks to video games inspired by 12 years of perpetual wars. Let’s channel that superb energy the right way by arming the kids.

Click On:

It’s about education. Children should know how to wield guns responsibly as quickly as possible because, after all, guns don’t kill people. People kill people. So there’s absolutely no need to worry about placing guns in the hands of good people. And what child of yours isn’t good people?

There’s no reason to leave schools exclusively to the educators, either. That’s old school. With so much talk about shrinking government and running schools like a business, mass shootings may be just the needed trigger to fresh ideas.

The National Guard have nothing much to do now that our peacenick president is bringing troops home faster than he’s creating new wars. It doesn’t have to end there. We should have whole squadrons of armed national guardsmen in every school, every day care center, every extended day program, in every girl and boy-scout troupe, all the way down to Sunday school.

Just as we have magnet schools, we could have magnet armories. The National Guard could park some of its hardware on the school grounds of high schools.

Roofs are terrific emplacements for the beautiful .50-caliber Barrett that could detect and make pink mist of even the hint of a school shooter a mile away. And tanks. Let’s not forget what a tank could do in the parking lot of a school, to say nothing of missiles, because those school shooters will get savvy.

Not to leave law enforcement in the cold, Sheriff’s and police departments could have substations at middle and elementary schools. I also keep hearing of how we could make use of retired cops and military. Great idea. Sic them on school buses, in cafeterias, on playgrounds. We could call them the assisted living platoons. These heroes’ reflexes are bound to be life-savers in one mass shooting or another, assuming the geezers’ duty is timed between naps and pill-popping.

And every morning of course, we can begin our blessed day with the poetry of Wayne LaPierre, lord and savior of the greatest individual right known to any of us lucky enough not to be among the 100,000 Americans shot to hell every year, and the 30,000 dumb enough to be killed that way: All together now, I pledge allegiance to the firepower of the United States of Armament, and to the NRA to which it bows, one purpose, unholstered, with guns and ammo for all.

Pierre Tristam is FlaglerLive’s editor. Reach him by email here or follow him on Twitter. This column is also syndicated through Florida Voices

Good old American know-how. (M Glasgow)

Good old American know-how. (M Glasgow)

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30 Responses for “Arming Teachers Isn’t Enough:
A Proposal of Modest Caliber”

  1. Stevie says:

    “The most simplistic solution is to mandate that all school children be armed [maybe not kindergarteners cause they can be such big babies], keep a tidy ketch of napalm in all teacher’s lounges and imprison anyone who is voices opposition to the second amendment which, by default, requires the repeal of the first amendment. ”

    This is the type of sarcastic duologue that just keeps the problem from being dealt with.

    These are our children. This is precious souls. We have a responsibility to act in a manner that stops this now. Traditional gun control measures failed to stop the carnage in Connecticut. Why is this allowed to go on year after year. We are able to stop this with rational actions. Why don’t we do what works? Guard them with our lives! Make them feel safe and secure. We can do this. Is there anyone who does not want to protect these children?

    Then try to solve the chronic problem that we have avoided for so long. Not until the children are protected. They are priceless.


  2. Geezer says:

    I’d like to help outfit the educators with anti-riot equipment,
    teach the pee-wees some marksmanship too.
    Tactical 101 for pre-adolescents.

    How about diapers with a pistol pocket?

    Put a real boom-boom in your Pampers!


  3. kathy kauth says:


    ALBANY — Gov. Cuomo and lawmakers reached a deal Monday to strengthen the state’s gun laws, leaving New York poised to become the first state to take legislative action following the Connecticut school slaughter.

    The Senate passed the measure, 43-18, shortly after 11 p.m. Monday — exactly one month after the killings in Newtown. The Assembly was expected to wait until Tuesday to hold its vote, and give the Empire State arguably the nation’s toughest gun laws.

    The legislative package would expand the state’s existing ban on assault weapons, limit the size of ammunition magazines, close a series of loopholes, and create safeguards to make it more difficult for the mentally ill to own firearms.

    It would also impose tougher criminal penalties for gun crimes, including a mandatory sentence of life without parole for murdering an on-duty emergency responder.

    The bill was backed by a hard-charging Cuomo, a potential 2016 presidential candidate who was positioned to reap political reward if the measure passes, as expected.

    “This is a proposal that seeks to limit gun violence,” Cuomo told reporters at a news conference announcing the agreement. “It has nothing to do with . . . legal gun owners who use their guns appropriately.

    “Much of this is common sense,” he added. “Unfortunately, common sense has eluded us for many years.”

    Opponents, including workers from upstate gunmaker Remington, decried the deal as a “knee-jerk reaction” that will infringe upon the Second Amendment’s right to bear arms and cost hundreds of jobs. But many said the Connecticut massacre of 20 students and six staffers galvanized public opinion.

    The key provision is an expansion of the assault rifle ban. Owners of military-style weapons that will be made illegal can keep them if they register with the state and undergo a background check.

    They can only sell them legally outside of the state. Ammunition clips will be limited to a maximum of seven bullets, down from 10 now; ammo dealers will be required to register with law enforcement; and bullet purchases will be tracked in real time.

    Private gun sales will be subject to federal background checks, and handgun and assault rifle owners will be required to recertify their permits every five years. Permit holders can seek to keep their names from being publicly disclosed.

    Senate Republicans, feeling pressure from the gun lobby, pushed to broaden the bill by including tougher criminal penalties; school safety improvements; and an expansion of Kendra’s Law, which allows judges to order treatment for disturbed individuals.


  4. The Truth says:

    The responses in this thread are exactly why our country is failing on so many levels.

    Here’s my take on what could help this problem:

    1. More extensive background checks and no way around it. I am fully in support of the 2nd amendment, but I do believe that extensive background checks need to be performed.

    2. The ‘assault type weapons’ that we can get so freely must be put to a hault. I understand the infatuation with these guns. The AR-15 weapons are beautiful and they are very powerful. Unfortunately, they are very easy to purchase and can cause a great deal of harm to a large amount of people in a short period of time. I know many gun lovers won’t like this, but these weapons need to be regulated much more. It’s insanity to me that one of these weapons can be purchased so easily.

    3. Improving the mental health system. We have many people in this world that are mentally sick and either don’t know it or we don’t know it. We need to make mental health checks and care affordable and easily accessible. I realize that every person who is mentally ill won’t just walk in to something like this, but we have to start somewhere and this is it. If the care is un-affordable or in accessible then it’s ineffective.

    4. Everyone needs to stop pointing the blame on one single thing – guns, violet video games, violent movies, hollywood, etc. There is not one thing that’s to blame in this, it’s a combination of what our society has become. I grew up playing violent video games but I have not ever thought about shooting up a school, a mall or a movie theater. I know how to separate reality from a video game. I watched violent movies growing up yet I never had any feeling of doing what I saw in these movies.

    5. As a society, we need to get back to caring for our neighbor. When I walk down the street, I see many neighbors who turn the other way and want nothing to do with saying hello to anyone. It’s a sad society we are turning into and WE are to blame. Let’s change our attitude towards eachother, let’s help a neighbor and be there for people. I am scared for the world that I live in, as I am not that old and have a long way (hopefully) to go before I pass on. I am scared to think what this society will become in 10-15 years. We have too much hatred in our every day lives (largely in part due to certain media organizations, hatred towards the government, etc). Step away from TVs, breathe some fresh air and enjoy our lives. There’s far too much good in this world.


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